Reduce Airline Expense Comic Strips

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116 Results for Reduce Airline Expense

View 1 - 10 results for reduce airline expense comic strips. Discover the best "Reduce Airline Expense" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bumped, #happy airline, #wonder, #duct tape, #section, #satisfaction, #company

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Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #christmas, #obnoxious, #cynical, #idealistic, #simpleton

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor in front of the fireplace. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for Christmas, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "The usual: domination of earth, happiness at the expense of others, personal ego gratification." Dogbert asks, "And you?" Dilbert replies, "I want to feel greater love and understanding for other people." Dogbert asks, "Even obnoxious and cynical people?" Dogbert continues, "And people who laugh at you for being an idealistic simpleton?" Dilbert thinks. Dilbert pats Dogbert's head and replies, "Yeah." Dogbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dilbert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonia, #reclassified, #third-world, #second-world, #plenty, #elbonians, #world relations

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Dilbert reads the newspaper and says, "The tiny nation of Elbonia has been reclassified from a third-world country to a second-world country." Dogbert asks, "Second?" Dilbert explains, "That means they have plenty to eat, but they don't like it." In Elbonia, an Elbonian mother puts a tray of food on the table. Her child says, "Airline food, again?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #nuclear, #bomb, #much, #deal, #government, #reduce, #national, #debt, #liberal, #hissy, #fit

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Dogbert walks past a man in a trench coat standing on a street corner. The man says, "Psst . . ." The secret agent asks, "Want to buy a nuclear bomb?" Dogbert asks, "How much?" The man replies, "Twenty bucks." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert hands over the money and asks, "Does the government know about this?" The man replies, "I am the government." The man says, "It's the only way we could agree on to reduce the national debt . . . You wouldn't believe how many of these things we have." Dogbert walks down the sidewalk carrying his bomb. Several other people on the street are also carrying bombs. Dogbert thinks, "I'm glad I got mine before some liberal has a hissy fit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #one, #ticket, #slignshot, #flight, #elbonia, #elbonian's, #capital, #class, #coach, #first, #intentionally, #fling, #hard

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Dilbert approaches the "Air Elbonia" counter and says to the clerk, "Give me one ticket for the slingshot flight to Elbonia's capital." The airline ticket agent asks, "Do you want first class or coach?" Dilbert asks, "What's the difference?" The clerk replies, "With first class we don't intentionally fling you toward something hard."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #prisoners, #warden, #jail, #profitable, #executed, #costs, #joke of the day, #program

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Dogbert uses a megaphone to address several men in bathrobes and slippers. Dogbert says, "Attention, prisoners! This is Warden Dogbert speaking!" Dogbert continues, "My jail has not been profitable. I've decided to have you all executed to reduce operating costs." Dogbert walks away thinking, "The 'Joke of the Day' program seems wasted on these people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #washington, #economic, #advisor, #recommend, #tax, #rebate, #potato

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to Washington to be an economic advisor." Dogbert continues, "I'll recommend a tax rebate for all dogs. It's the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a selfish ploy to line your pockets at the expense of others." Dogbert replies, "Potato, po-TAH-to . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #can-o-matic, #restroom, #stall, #randomly, #fires, #pink, #slip, #backs, #expressions, #security, #cameras

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Dogbert points to a picture of a bathroom and tells the Boss, "As your consultant, I recommend the 'Can-O-Matic' to reduce staff levels." Dogbert points to a picture of a person falling out a building window and explains, "Disguised as a restroom stall, the Can-O-Matic randomly fires people by slapping a pink slip on their backs and catapulting them out of the building." The Boss says, "But I won't get to see the expressions on their faces." Dogbert replies, "Well, we could fling them past the security cameras here . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #report, #utilize, #facilitate, #replace, #implementation, #phase, #readable, #fax, #type, #size

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The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #airplane, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Food, #flight attendant, #passengers, #man, #woman

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in an airplane. Dogbert says, "I'm starving. Is there a meal on this flight?" Dilbert replies, "It's probably just a snack. The airline is cutting back on frills." Dogbert asks, "When you say 'snack,' do you mean a small but well-balanced culinary experience?" Dilbert answers, "It's peanuts. We get nine peanuts apiece." Dilbert adds, "And a soda . . . But not a whole can, just a little cup . . . Unless they cut back on that too." The flight attendant tells Dilbert, "Now we just drink a soda ourselves and burp your seat number." The flight attendant drinks a can of soda. The flight attendant burps, "7B." Dilbert says, "It's actually kind of refreshing."