Report To Alice Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Report To Alice

View 1 - 10 results for report to alice comic strips. Discover the best "Report To Alice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #office workers, #reaction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Alice brought her new baby to the office today." Dilbert asks, "What are you supposed to say when somebody shows you a baby?" Dogbert replies, "'Precious' usually works." Dilbert says, "Judging from the reaction, 'bug-ugly' wasn't what she was looking for."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #national news, #critics, #management, #megaslime corporation, #repitilian, #aliens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching a television news report. The newscaster says, "And in national news . . ." The newscaster continues, "Critics today accused the management of Megaslime Corporation of being hideous reptilian aliens bent on enslaving the earth." The newscaster continues, "A spokesman for the company denied the charge." Dilbert says, "Whew!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #pencil, #downward

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds up a chart and says to Dogbert, "On this graph, I have plotted the frequency of snide comments that you have made about me. I'm happy to report that the recent trend is downward." Dilbert asks, "See the big dip?" Dogbert says, "Get out your pencil . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #devil, #lettuce, #kitchen, #rationalization

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Looks like they under-charged me twelve cents on the lettuce." Dilbert thinks, "I should go back and give them the twelve cents. But I'm sure they would tell me to keep it for being so honest." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and the Ruler of Heck, shows up at the door and says to Dogbert, ". . . I have a report of a flimsy rationalization in progress." Dogbert says, "Try the kitchen."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #nuclear, #power, #project, #inspection, #report

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I got transferred to the Glickman Nuclear Power Project." Dogbert asks, "Aren't you worried about radiation?" Dilbert replies, "My boss says the last safety inspection was quite favorable." Dogbert asks, "What were his EXACT words?" Dilbert answers, ". . . The inspectors gave a glowing report." Dogbert says, "Maybe you'll mutate into something smarter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finance troll, #bad time, #report, #accounting, #Dilbert, #witch, #figures

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bradley, #Dilbert, #valid, #analyst, #witch, #finances, #accounting, #budget report

View Transcript

Transcript

Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #reflect, #create, #erasing, #accounting, #budget, #bradley, #troll, #witch, #budget report

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert is forced to work in the accounting department." Dilbert has turned into a troll. Bradley the Troll says, "First you must understand how numbers change reality . . ." Bradley continues, "Some people think numbers merely REFLECT reality . . . But we believe that numbers CREATE reality." Bradley shows Dilbert a room where an overseer cracks a whip at several other trolls. Bradley says, "This our budget-erasing room . . ." The supervisor yells, "Erase faster!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #finances, #financial troll, #witch, #bradley, #budget report, #budget, #erasing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it? Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!? Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #absence, #mother, #nature, #absence dog, #cloned, #sick, #woman, #employee, #leave of absence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need to fill out an absence report for the days you missed work." Dilbert replies, "Well, Mother Nature got mad and had wild deer kill me. But my garbage man and my dog cloned me back to life." The woman says, "I'll put 'sick.'"