Reporting Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

9 Results for Reporting

View 1 - 9 results for reporting comic strips. Discover the best "Reporting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arbitrary clerical deadline, #preserve integrity, #time reporting system, #time sheet, #annoying

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands a time sheet to a woman at a desk and says, "Here's my time sheet, including guesses for the next two days so I can meet your arbitrary clerical deadline." Dilbert continues, "If anything important comes up, I'll ignore it to preserve the integrity of the time-reporting system." The woman asks, "Are you finished annoying me yet?" Dilbert answers, "According to my time sheet I'll be here for another 14 minutes."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #box lower, #intern is boss, #new boss, #new org chart, #graphics

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I notice that the new org chart has your box lower than before." Dilbert replies, "It means nothing." Asok says, "Perhaps. But your box seems smallish. And your reporting line brushes against my box." Dilbert replies, "It means nothing." Asok says, "No, I'm sure this means I'm your new boss." Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if I killed someone in a previous life."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #websmistress ming, #broken link, #Men, #perverse pleasure, #graphics are slow

View Transcript

Transcript

Webmistress Ming: Wally and Ming are talking in a hallway, Ming is holding a folder. Wally says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers: "I know, I know." Asok is standing in the door of Ming's cubicle and Ming is sitting at her computer. Asok says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers:"I know, I know." Ming is lying down on a reclining chair at a therapist office, the therapist is sitting behind her and taking notes. Ming says to the therapist: "The men are getting perverse pleasure from reporting my broken links." The therapist answers: "Your graphics are slow, too"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #credit reporting company, #data, #death, #debilitating, #health problems, #low cost provider, #ruined lives, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Im starting a credit reporting company. I'll be the low cost provider because all of my data will be wrong, Dilbert: what will you do when people call and complain that you ruined their lives? Dogbert: I'll put them on hold until their frustration turn into debilitating health problems. Their last words will be AAAGH!!!! I only wanted to buy a minivan! Death will accomplish what customer service could not. Dilbert: Im just curious: Do you have nay qualms about your business plan? any at all? Dogbert: Im not sure. do qualms make you wag?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rat problem, #reporting, #rat bait, #unwashed, #job satisfaction, #calling names, #being mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: We're having a problem with the rats in the office. " You might want to upgrade your level of hygiene from "rat bait" to "unwashed."" "I think I just felt my first tingle of job satisfaction."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #meeting, #miss step, #mole hired, #reporting, #chilling effect, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

RAtBert: I'm the official department mole. I'll be reporting your every misstep to your pointy-haired boss. Dilbert: Won't this have a chilling effect on our creativity and honesty?" RatBert: That didn't take long.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #explaining, #project, #annoyed, #angry, #lazy, #wasting, #time, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."

Reporting To Two Managers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reporting To Two Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #reporting, #vp of sales, #project, #business, #hate

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.

Reporting On Tina

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reporting On Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #technical, #new, #bored, #coma, #writer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: tina is in some sort of technical writer's trance. dilbert: apparently, i took too long to explain some new technology, and it bored her into a coma. should i report this? wally: only if you can do it succinctly