Ridiculous Jargon Comic Strips

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162 Results for Ridiculous Jargon

View 1 - 10 results for ridiculous jargon comic strips. Discover the best "Ridiculous Jargon" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #watch, #neighborhood, #leader

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Dogbert and Dilbert stand in the yard. Dilbert, who is wearing a sash and carrying a flashlight, asks, "Are you sure you don't want to join the neighborhood watch group?" Dogbert says, "This is ridiculous. You all know that every single crime in this neighborhood was committed by one guy: Bad Ed." Dilbert says, "We can't actually prove that." Dogbert says, "I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't have elected him group leader."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #question, #asking, #stupid

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I have a stupid question . . ." Dilbert says, "There are no stupid questions." Dogbert says, "That's ridiculous . . . If there are no stupid questions then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Dilbert asks, "Were you going to ask me something?" Dogbert replies, "See . . . Now there's a stupid question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #deprogram, #control, #dogberts, #cult, #reflexively, #embraces, #ridiculous, #explanation, #dog's, #commands

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Dilbert says to Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs, "I have a plan to deprogram you from the control of Dogbert's cult." Dilbert continues, "My theory is that the brain reflexively embraces the most ridiculous explanation of reality." Dilbert concludes, "So, we just have to think of something more ridiculous than following a dog's commands." Bob asks, "Like listening to you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #exercise, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #joined, #bowling, #league, #yikes, #lower middle class, #muscle, #little arm

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bowling ball in a case. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I joined a bowling league." Dogbert's ears fly up in surprise and he says, "Yikes! We've become lower middle-class!" Dilbert says, "Don't be ridiculous. Bowling is good exercise. I'm doing it to build muscle tone." At the bowling alley, Dilbert sees three men who have one huge arm and one little arm. One of the men says, "Hey! 'Little Arm.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nostradogbert, #prophet, #monkey, #skeptically, #great, #doubt

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock wearing a turban. Dogbert says, "I've changed my name to Nostradogbert the Prophet." Dogbert continues, "Nostradogbert predicts that a monkey shall speak skeptically of the great." Dilbert replies, "That's ridiculous." Dogbert says, "One-for-one so far." Dilbert says, "I doubt it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #suggestions, #report, #ridiculous, #spit, #woman, #carol, #assistant, #violent

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Dilbert tells a woman, "Carol, If you have any suggestions on my report, let me know." Carol looks at the document and asks, "What kind of ridiculous tripe are you pushing??" Carol says, "I spit on your report!" Carol lights a match and says, "I should burn it to ashes, but I won't . . ." Carol cries, "Because I'd rather dance on your grave after people read this!" She laughs. Carol throws the document at Dilbert and says, "Crawl back into your hole, you fly-infested bucket of dead carp!!" Dilbert walks away as Carol shouts, "Die! Die! Die!" Dilbert tells Wally, "Next time I'm just gonna say 'Carol, make some copies.'" Wally says, "The secretaries here have way too much power."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #robot, #discriminating, #female, #years, #compensate, #past, #injustices, #therefore, #argument, #effective

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A female robot says to Ruebert, "Males have been discriminating against females for a million years." Ruebert thinks, "Guilt attack." The female robot says, "Therefore, YOU must compensate ME for past injustices." Ruebert says, "You know, for a ridiculous argument, it's nonetheless quite effective." The female robot says, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #assignment, #last, #ridiculous, #spontaneously, #channeling, #spirit, #bozo

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Uh . . . Dilbert, about that assignment I gave you last month . . ." The Boss continues, "Remember how you thought it was a silly and ridiculous assignment?" Dilbert says, "Yeah?" The Boss replies, "Well, it turns out that I've been spontaneously channeling the spirit of Bozo the Clown." The Boss is suddenly wearing a clown nose and costume.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lesson, #presentation, #males, #Women, #act, #phony, #woman, #subjected, #empathy, #conversation

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Dogbert stands at the front of the room and says, "Today's lesson is just for men . . . Lights please." Dogbert shows a slide that says, "Acting sensitive even when you're not." Dogbert says, "As males, we know that women can only tolerate us when we act phony." Dogbert continues, "This is what happens when a woman is subjected to honest male opinions." The slide shows a woman screaming. Dogbert continues, "Fortunately, even the most ridiculous lies can sound sensitive." The slide shows a man saying, "Nice hairdo." Dogbert continues, "And new research shows that women want EMPATHY in conversation, not male suggestions." Dogbert continues, "This discovery frees you to think about other things while they talk." Dogbert advances the slide projector. The slide shows a man saying to a woman, "Ooh . . . How sad," while he thinks, "Sports." Dogbert asks, "Questions?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ridiculous, #Dilbert, #supercomputer, #create, #model, #predict, #life, #brain, #chemistry, #patterns, #cause and effect, #free will, #mad, #implies

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Dilbert sits at a desk and works on his supercomputer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm using my new supercomputer to create a model that can predict your entire life." Dilbert continues, "You see, everything, including your brain chemistry, is subject to predictable patterns of cause and effect . . ." Dogbert replies, "That's ridiculous. It implies that we have no free will." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "Next, you start getting really mad at me."