Russian Submarine Comic Strips
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9 Results for Russian Submarine
View 1 - 9 results for russian submarine comic strips. Discover the best "Russian Submarine" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 10,
1993
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert stands on the hassock holding a plate. Dogbert says, "You already own the 'Acorn Series' of Dogbert's Commemorative Plates . . ." Dogbert continues, "For a limited time you may also purchase my new issue: the 'French Guy With a Hat' series." Dogbert has drawn a face on the acorn. Dilbert says, "My acorn plates are missing." Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Tomorrow I'll introduce my new series: 'Russian With French Hat.'"
Thursday March 21,
2002
Tags #elbonians, #classified ad, #nuclear war head, #russian craftsmanship, #third world countries, #slingshot, #hundred yards
Transcript
Two Elbonians show up at Dilbert's house door. Dogbert opens. An Elbonian says, "We saw your classified ad for a nuclear warhead." Dogbert says, "It's genuine Russian craftsmanship, ideal for menacing other third-world countries." An Elbonian responds, "Sweet." An Elbonian holds the warhead and says, "Our slingshot can fling this a hundred yards. Is that enough?" Dogbert looks at their briefcase full of money and says, "That's plenty."
Thursday October 10,
2002
Tags #25 million dolalrs, #rat hole, #ride into space, #russian rocket, #poor, #rocket
Transcript
A man carrying a bag of money approaches the "Rat Hole." He says to Dogbert, "I can't decide if I should throw 25 million dollars down a rat hole or..." The man continues, "... Buy a ride into space on a Russian rocket ship." The man is throwing his money into the hole. Dogbert asks, "What about the poor?" The man replies, "Do they have a rocket?"
Thursday August 25,
2005
Tags #moving along until, #coding language changed, #methodlogy, #endless stairway, #sea submairne, #mc escher, #morale, #add features
Transcript
Dilbert: The project was moving along well until management changed our coding language and methodology. Dilbert: "Now our timeline is represented by this M.C. Escher print of an endless stairway." "This deep-sea submarine is looking for our morale." The Boss: "Would this be a bad time to add a few features?"
Thursday December 13,
2007
Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #network changes, #on vacation, #3 weeks, #russian submarine, #arctic circle, #blank screen, #coincidence
Transcript
Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."
Thursday January 29,
2015
Dolphin Lives In Sea Water
Tags #animal behavior, #animals in captivity, #dolphin, #exotic pets, #fish & aquatic mammals, #russia, #russian military, #birthday clowns, #drwoned, #seawater, #angry
Transcript
CEO: I bought a dolphin for my daughter's birthday party. But it turned out to be a retired Russian military dolphin. It dragged one of the birthday clowns into the pool and drowned him. Dilbert: I though dolphins need to live in seawater. CEO: Maybe that's why it's so angry.
Friday January 30,
2015
Dogbert Disposes Bodies
Tags #dolphin, #exotic pets, #hit man, #murder, #murder for hire, #russian military, #killed clown, #dead bodies, #disposal, #expert
Transcript
CEO: I bought a Russian military dolphin for a pet and it killed a party clown at my daughter's pool party. I need you to dispose of the body. Dogbert: The good news is that I'm an expert at getting rid of dead bodies. CEO: What's the bad news? Dogbert: Your dolphin hired me to kill you.
Saturday January 31,
2015
Too Much Exposition
Tags #dolphin, #exposition, #hit man, #murder for hire, #stories, #storytelling, #ceo, #russian dolphin, #militray, #smartphone, #stolen, #mansion
Transcript
Dilbert: Our CEO Bought a Russian military dolphin for his daughter's pool party and it killed a party clown. Then it stole a smartphone and hired Dogbert to put a hit on the CEO so the dolphin... Garbage Man: That's way too much exposition. Dilbert: ...fill the CEO's mansion with water and live in it forever.
Monday April 30,
2018
Finding Alice
Tags #surveillance, #data, #spying, #location, #privacy
Transcript
Boss: Does anyone know where Alice is? Dilbert: Yes. The CIA, Google, Facebook, Apple, and Russian hackers know where she is. Boss: But we have no way to find her? Dilbert: Depends. Was she dumb enough to download our company app?