Sales Department Comic Strips

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406 Results for Sales Department

View 1 - 10 results for sales department comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Department" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bear, #Dilbert, #sales, #seven times

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings. Dilbert opens the door and a bear says, "Hi. I'm the bear skin rug you ordered by mail." The bear enters the house and says, "I'm a kit. You just have to kill me, rip my guts out and leave me to dry." Dilbert looks shocked. Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "Egad! I couldn't possibly do that. Please . . . Just go." The bear says, "You'll receive a full refund, of course." Dilbert says, "No, no! Please keep it." The bear, who is really a man in a bear suit, walks into the rug store. A man at a desk asks, "How were sales today?" The man in the suit replies, "Great! Sold myself seven times."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #junk mail, #mail, #condo, #sales, #jeep cherokee, #emerald

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Dilbert reads a piece of mail and says, "Wow! And I thought this was just more junk mail!" Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "All I have to do is drive two hours and listen to their condo sales pitch. I'm GUARANTEED to win a Jeep Cherokee or a valuable mock emerald." Dogbert responds, "That emerald will go pretty well with your mock brain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #renew, #dog, #license, #written, #test

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Let's go . . . It's time to renew your dog license." Dilbert and Dogbert enter the Department of Dogs. Dogbert looks at an exam and thinks, "I wonder what happens if I fail the written test?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #portion, #dog, #license, #test, #natural, #enemies

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A man behind a counter at the Department of Dogs says to Dogbert, "I'm sorry, but it seems you've failed the written portion of the dog license test." Dogbert replies, "Impossible!" The clerk says, "For example, this question on 'natural enemies': the correct answer is 'mailman.' You wrote in 'fax machine.'" Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How'd it go?" Dogbert replies, "The 'Department of Dogs' does not keep up with emerging trends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #corporate, #philosophy, #shoot, #messenger, #consulted, #engineering, #department, #launched, #ill-conceived product, #humiliated, #fired, #eileen, #document, #carpet

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Dilbert stands at the front of the room giving a presentation. A man sitting at the conference table says, "Be candid, Dilbert. We have a corporate philosophy that says we 'don't shoot the messenger.'" Dilbert replies, "Good." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "Had you consulted with the engineering department, you never would have launched such an ill-conceived product." Dilbert continues, "It is doomed to fail. You will all be humiliated and probably fired." A woman holding a rifle shouts, "Can't I just wing him?!!" A man says, "No, Eileen, that's not our philosophy." Dilbert arrives at home with tar and feathers on his body. He tells Dogbert, "It turns out the corporate philosophy is a very flexible document." Dogbert says, "You're getting tar on the carpet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #credit, #Card, #stupid, #banks, #computer, #righteous, #indignation, #department, #employee, #speaking, #reprogram, #mannual

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Dilbert reads a letter and tells Dogbert, "My credit card has been canceled. The stupid bank's computer thinks I died." Dilbert continues, "This is an opportunity for some righteous indignation. I love that." Dilbert dials the telephone. A customer service representative answers the phone and says, "Hello, credit card department, an underpaid employee speaking." The man says, "Well, yes, apparently you are alive, but it would be very difficult to reprogram the computer . . ." Dilbert replies, "I'm sure you'll find a solution." A woman at the bank asks, "Kill him?" The man replies, "Unless you'd RATHER read this computer manual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #department, #secretary, #personal, #phone, #calls, #traditional, #costume, #countries, #calling, #cultural appropriation

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of the department secretary." The Boss continues, "See if you can get him to cut down on the personal calls." The secretary sits at his desk wearing a sombrero and holding maracas. Dilbert says, ". . . Just be a little more discreet . . . For example, try NOT wearing the traditional costume of the countries you're calling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #supervise, #department, #secretary, #gibberish

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Dilbert: My boss asked me to supervise the department secretary. I don't really know how to manage people... Dogbert: Try positive reinforcement. Praise the things he does right. Trust him to make the right choices. Man: I forgot to write down your messages, so I just put a bunch of gibberish on little pieces of paper.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #secretary, #department, #image, #problem, #crush, #paper clip, #Dogbert

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A man asks Dilbert, "How's the new secretary for the department working out?" Dilbert replies, "I think he's having a self-image problem." The secretary sits at his desk and says, "Sure, I'm a secretary, but watch me crush this paper clip!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #surprise, #accounting, #figures, #business

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The Boss: Dilbert, go down to the accounting department and find out what these figures mean. Dilbert: No... P-please... They aren't even human there. Witch: I don't like him. Troll: Surprise.