Share Vision Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

107 Results for Share Vision

View 1 - 10 results for share vision comic strips. Discover the best "Share Vision" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #secret, #selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Two aliens who look like cows travel toward earth in a spaceship. Dilbert sits at his desk. The doorbell rings. Dogbert says, "I'll get the door." Dogbert opens the door and sees the two aliens. One of the aliens says, "Greetings, earthling. We are an advanced race from the planet Moothron." The alien continues, "We came to share our secrets for ending hunger, poverty and disease." Dogbert asks, "What's in it for me?" The aliens look at each other. The aliens get in their spaceship and fly away. Dogbert sits on the hassock and says, "I'll always wonder if there was a better way to handle that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #staples, #straightened, #reused, #study it, #vision, #cc

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "And while he had just created undoubtedly the finest memo known to man, still Dilbert felt curiously unfulfilled." Dilbert sits at his desk and reads the memorandum. Dilbert thinks, "Maybe it needs more 'CC's.'" The caption says, "Sadly, not everybody would share Dilbert's vision." Dogbert reads the memo and asks, "Do you really think staples can be straightened and reused?" Dilbert says, "I'm just saying we should study it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #paper, #arm chair, #Dogbert, #news, #spoilers, #newspaper

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert enters the living room carrying the newspaper. He thinks, "Oh good, Dogbert isn't around. I can read the Sunday paper without having to share." Dilbert sits in his chair and thinks, "Ahhh . . . Mine are the first hands to unfold its crisp little pages. I alone determine the order of reading." Dilbert thinks, "Nobody will blurt out the punchlines before I read them." Dogbert flies through the air onto Dilbert's lap. Dogbert knocks the chair over and the paper scatters on the floor. Dogbert asks, "Were you finished with this section?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ham, #cured, #butcher, #gift, #share

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks a butcher, "Do you have cured ham?" The butcher says, "Right here." Dogbert says, "Boy, if that's cured, what does a sick one look like?!" Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and says, "I've always felt a duty to share my gift of mirth with others."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #flaps, #silhouette, #naked, #woman, #sexist, #neaderthal, #embarassed, #gender, #first, #thoughts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert shows Dogbert a mud flap and says, "I bought some mud flaps with the silhouette of a naked woman." Dilbert continues, "With these on my car, women will think I'm a sexist Neanderthal, and men will be embarrassed to share my gender." Dilbert continues, "But now I'm having second thoughts." Dogbert says, "That implies you had first thoughts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #stand-up, #comedy, #competition, #first time, #competitor, #audience, #camcorders, #mary kay, #mental, #imagery

View Transcript

Transcript

A comedian asks Dilbert, "Is this your first time?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah." Dilbert shakes nervously and beads of sweat fly off his forehead. The man says, "I know I'm supposed to be your competitor, but I'll share my technique of using mental imagery to relax." Dilbert says, "Thanks!" The man says, "Imagine that you're naked . . . And the audience is full of Mary Kay salespeople with camcorders . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbage man, #election, #campaign, #strategist, #Win, #promise, #sell, #foreigners, #profits, #parks

View Transcript

Transcript

The garbage man says to Dogbert, "Sure, Dogbert, I'll be your election campaign strategist." The garbage man sits at a table with Dogbert and Ratbert. The garbage man says, "You can win if you promise to sell our national parks to foreigners and share the profits." Dogbert replies, "I couldn't do that." The garbage man asks, "You couldn't sell the parks?" Dogbert replies, "I couldn't share the profits."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #ted, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm told by a reliable source that our senior vice president made a sound like 'yurp' at lunch." The Boss continues, "What does it mean? Does it signal a new set of priorities? We must demonstrate our commitment to this vision." Dilbert asks, "What was the context of this vision?" The Boss replies, "All we know is he was eating a burrito."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #alice, #volunteering, #resume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Thank you all for volunteering for my task force on 'palmtop personal multimedia.'" Dogbert continues, "I'm sure that you all have a common vision about this project . . ." Dogbert continues, "Specifically, you think it will look good on your resumes while being too futuristic to generate any real work." Wally thinks, "Mother lode."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vision thing, #boss, #visions, #donuts, #coffee, #big house, #servents, #over rated, #gardener, #everyone laid off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"