Shot Scapegoat Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

37 Results for Shot Scapegoat

View 1 - 10 results for shot scapegoat comic strips. Discover the best "Shot Scapegoat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #table tennis, #shot, #supernatural forces, #mental, #game

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert swings at a ping pong ball and misses as it bounces off the ping pong table. Dilbert says, "You win, again. I sure wish I knew how you make that shot." His opponent answers, "Supernatural forces." Dilbert asks, "Really? Supernatural?" Dogbert whispers, "The mental game is SO important."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #donut, #wild kingdom, #engineer, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in the kitchen and Dogbert stands in the doorway holding a slingshot. Dilbert reaches for a box of donuts and thinks, "Maybe just one donut before bed." Dogbert thinks, "He takes the bait." Dilbert looks surprised as the donut is shot out of his hand. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Didn't I ask you to stop playing 'Wild Kingdom' in the house?" Dogbert thinks, "Now angered, the engineer turns to charge."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #earth, #creatures, #shot, #god, #speak

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "God spoke to me today. He appointed me ruler of all creatures on earth." Dilbert replies, "God did NOT speak to you." Dogbert says as he walks away, "It was worth a shot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brainella, #smart, #intimidated, #dated, #woman, #outfit, #best

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #rare, #stamp, #upside, #shot, #collection, #down

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters and says, "I'm rich! I found a rare stamp that was printed upside down!" Dilbert turns around and takes the stamp. He says to Dogbert, "It's not printed upside down - you were holding it upside down." Dogbert walks away thinking, "It was worth a shot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #class, #engineer, #technical, #writing, #reads, #scapegoat, #vacation

View Transcript

Transcript

A school teacher says to a classroom of children, "Dilbert has agreed to talk to the class about exciting careers in the field of engineering!" Dilbert says to the students, "There's more to being an engineer than just writing technical memos that nobody reads." Dilbert continues, "Once in a while, somebody reads one. Then you have to find a scapegoat, or use some vacation time and hope it all blows over."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #statistics, #productivity, #computers, #software, #program, #conclusion, #produced, #impressive, #crashed, #decline, #responsible, #scapegoat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk and says, "Government statistics show that office productivity went DOWN as computers became widely used." Dilbert continues, "But I didn't believe it." Dilbert says, "So I wrote a little software program to test that conclusion." Dilbert continues, "It only tood a month, but it produced some impressive data." Dilbert continues, "In fact, it was so impressive it took a week to figure out how to print it." Dilbert continues, "But before I could print, my computer crashed and I didn't have backup copies." Dilbert concludes, "So, it seems the government was right; computers are to blame for the decline in productivity." The Boss asks, "Do you think the employees could be partly responsible?" Dilbert replies, "Sure, find a scapegoat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #productivity, #daydreaming, #irene, #accounting, #engineering, #ordinary, #betty, #marketing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "My productivity is shot. I can't stop daydreaming about Irene in accounting." Ted says, "Do what I did. Try to phase out of it by daydreaming of Laura in engineering, then move to the ordinary-looking Betty in marketing." Wally replies, "Now I'm daydreaming about all three of them." Ted replies, "Same thing happened to me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #Dogs, #Dogbert, #dating, #tweeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table. The woman says, "We always used to go to the . . ." Someone blows a whistle. Dogbert approaches Dilbert from behind shouting, "Stop the action!" Dogbert points at the woman and says, "That's a penalty for talking about an old boyfriend!" Dogbert points at Dilbert and says, "The opposing date gets one minute to talk about a sports event!" Dilbert says, "Then Mullin hits the jump shot . . ." Dogbert blows the whistle. Dogbert says, "Penalty! Staring at the waitress for no legitimate reason!!" The woman thinks, "Yes!" Dogbert says, "The visiting team gets one minute to discuss 'feelings.'" The woman says, "I think of you in the 'friend' category." Dogbert waves his paws and shouts, "Score!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #shot from cannon, #building, #crash window, #lands on desk, #Dilbert, #travel budget cuts, #primitive, #begs for busfare

View Transcript

Transcript

Boom! CRASH! I hear your company is trimming travel budgets. Dilbert: Can anyone lend me bus fare to get home?