Stopped Complaints Comic Strips
67 Results for Stopped Complaints
View 1 - 10 results for stopped complaints comic strips. Discover the best "Stopped Complaints" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 14, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors under a tree. Dilbert asks, "Do you ever think about how delicate the balance of nature is?" Dilbert continues, "Just one little change in our environment and we're all dead." Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . ." Dogbert continues, "Suppose everybody stopped throwing rice at weddings and started throwing potatoes." Dilbert says, "It's too horrible to imagine."
Share October 25, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "Sometimes I feel like a kid in an adult's body, hoping nobody notices." Dilbert thinks, "It's as if I stopped maturing and just started faking it after age fourteen." Dilbert passes a woman and thinks, "I'll bet women never feel that way." The woman thinks, "Cooties."
Share January 15, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert leads a tour group. He says, "This next exhibit is the pride of 'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.'" A man holds his child up to see an exhibit that is labeled "Dan Quayle's Brain." The man says, "It looks like a little piece of cauliflower." The child eats the cauliflower and his father says, "Sorry, we should have stopped for breakfast . . ." Dogbert says, "What am I going to tell Marilyn?"
Share July 26, 1991's comic on:
Bob the Dinosaur asks Dogbert, "Will you sign my petition?" Dogbert asks, "What's it for, Bob?" Bob replies, "I didn't have any complaints, so it just says 'D-uhh." Dogbert says as he signs the petition, "Democracy is a wonderful thing."
Share March 09, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dilbert asks, "How was your day, Dogbert?" Dogbert sniffs the air and asks, "Hey! What's that smell?" Dogbert smells Dilbert's hand and says, "Just as I suspected - you stopped to pet the neighbor's cat!" Dilbert says, "It meant nothing. It was more of a pat than a pet." Dilbert dials the phone and says, "Save your lies for the trial."
Share January 28, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: "...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" Elbonian: "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"
Share March 20, 1994's comic on:
wally: Im looking forward to retirement. I can't wait! I'll have my tiny fixed income, barley enough to survive! ...and a new health problem almost everyday! Wally: I'll have wrinkles everywhere and I'll actually shrink! HAHA! I'll produce nothing and I'll complain constantly! Dilbert: You're looking forward to a ll that?? WallyL well...compared to working here... The boss: Its time for the pre meeting meeting on employee productivity. Wally and Dilbert: mmm. fixed income ...health problems...
Share May 07, 1995's comic on:
Tags #habits of highly defective people, #ignore signs, #belittle people, #newest team, #all complainers fault, #motivate me, #therapist, #controversial issues, #barney as mascot, #assembly line code, #prejudices, #crisp photo copy, #cpmics, #psychology
The panel contains the title, "The Seven Habits of Highly Defective People." The caption says, "1. Ignore any signs of discomfort in others." The Boss sits across the table from a dusty skeleton and says, "But hey, I've been doing all of the talking." The caption says, "2. Use humor to belittle people in public." The Boss puts his arm around a man and tells Wally, "Our newest team member has movie star looks. Specifically, Lassie." Wally laughs. The caption says, "3. Treat all complaints as the complainer's fault." Dilbert says, "You don't motivate me." The Boss replies, "Maybe you should see a therapist." The caption says, "4. Show up late and raise controversial issues." The Boss walks into a meeting room and says, "I think we should license 'Barney' as our mascot." The caption says, "5. Give advice on things you don't understand." The Boss points to Dilbert's monitor and says, "Try writing some assembly line code here." The caption says, "6. Use compliments to show your prejudices." The Boss says to Alice, "Ooh, nice crisp photocopy, Alice. I don't think a man could have done it better!" The caption says, "7. Think the comics are not about you." The Boss reads the newspaper and says, "Hee hee! Look at the hair on that guy!"
Share February 12, 1996's comic on:
Catbert stands on the desk and thinks, "The employees have too much time off. It must be stopped." Catbert waves his arms and shouts, "I summon the demons of Darkness to assist me!!!" Catbert sits on the monitor while Phil, the demon of Heck, says, ". . . Eliminate sick days. Make them use vacation days when they're ill. Call it a 'time bank.'" Catbert says, "It's playful . . . It's cruel . . . I like it."
Share June 18, 1997's comic on:
Tina sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "People are complaining that you schedule unnecessary meetings as a substitute for a family." Tina replies, "That's ridiculous! Come to my next meeting and see for yourself." Catbert says, "Okay, I will." Tina tells Dilbert, "I got us a family cat. How was your day, dear?" Dilbert leans on his desk and sobs.