Stretch Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

14 Results for Stretch

View 1 - 10 results for stretch comic strips. Discover the best "Stretch" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #convince, #wealth, #polyester, #pants, #top, #head, #money, #change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from a customer service representative in a bank. The woman says, "Well, Mr. Dogbert, what could I do to convince you to put your new wealth in our bank?" Dogbert replies, "Stretch your polyester pants over the top of your head." As the woman pulls her pants over her head, Dogbert says, "I hope money doesn't change me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #copy, #agenda, #wrong, #awkward, #leave, #casually, #problem, #economy, #deeper, #interest, #rates, #cover, #dark

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters a conference room and asks, "Is this the meeting?" People at the table mumble a response. Dilbert says, "Good." A man says, "Everybody take a copy of the agenda." Dilbert reads the agenda and thinks, "I'm in the wrong meeting . . . Now it's too awkward to leave." Dilbert thinks, "I'll casually stretch my arms, flick the lights off and escape under cover of dark." Dilbert turns the light off. Several people say, "Ouch!" Five people lie on top of each other in the doorway. The man says, "Oh, sorry, wrong agenda." Dilbert arrives at home wearing tattered clothing. He tells Dogbert, "I'm starting to think that the problem with our economy is deeper than high interest rates."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory class, #windows, #training, #teacher doesn't know, #no computers, #uses box, #teeth as keyboard

View Transcript

Transcript

Tim stands at the front of the room. He says, "Welcome to the mandatory Windows NT class." Ted points to an easel with the words "Two weeks" written on it. "Personally, I've only been using a computer for...how long? Anyone?" Ted continues, "But a good trainer can teach any subject." Ted raises his hands over his head and says, "Okay, everyone stand up and stretch!" Ted continues to hold his arms over his head and says, "Or sit there and glare at me. That's good too." Ted holds a box upside down and says, "I forgot to reserve the room with the computers, so I'll use this box." Ted continues, "...and let's say this eraser is the moose." Dilbert sits with Dogbert on the couch and says, "I left when he told us to use our teeth as a keyboard." Dogbert says, "Ooh-yah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stretch goals, #signaling surrender, #no to doughnut

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Starting today, our goals will be replaced by stretch goals." Asok asks, "Stretch goals?" Alice says, "Stretch goals are like stretch pants. It's a way of signaling surrender." Asok puts up both arms in surrender. Alice says, "Speaking of which, I wouldn't say no to a doughnut."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stretch first, #sprained arm, #tv remote control, #Wally, #doctor, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally has his arm in a sling and his head in a cone. He says to Dilbert, "I sprained my arm using the TV remote control." Wally continues, "I tried to change the channel and the volume at the same time." Wally continues, "That's why you should always stretch first." Dilbert turns and asks, "Wally, who's your doctor?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #take risks, #employees afraid, #train them, #stitch goals, #punishing for failure, #raise morale, #stopped complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "According to this report, our employees are afraid to take risks." The Boss: "We can train them to take risks by giving them stretch goals and punishing them for failing!" Catbert: "We did that to raise morale." The Boss: "It stopped all the complaining, didn't it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting with boss, #stretch first, #limber, #muscles, #strain something, #stretch

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Im going to a meeting with my boss. Carol: did you stretch first? Carol: you need to limber up your lying muscles or you'll stain something. Really? Things are going that well?/! Didn't stretch.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #regular goals, #stretch goals, #sacrifice health, #personal life, #criminal conduct, #bonus, #salaries below budget, #ultra stretchy, #employee rights, #taken advantage, #cheat employee

View Transcript

Transcript

"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals." "What's the difference?" "The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life." "The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct." "I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own." "That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals." "Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget." "Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stretch goals, #goals for year, #set higher

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I wrote out my goals for the coming year. I set them higher than I can achieve because our boss said it's good to have stretch goals. Alice: Well, more for us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #mandatory stretch, #employee welness, #good and flexible, #new place, #tuck your head, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."