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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1989's comic on:

Tags #dog, #friends, #intelligence, #animals

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've decided to make some dog friends, but I don't even know what other dogs do when they get together." Dilbert replies, "Well, I suppose they would bark like idiots, run around in circles, and sniff every part of your body." Dogbert says, "I guess 'Scrabble' is out of the question."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1989's comic on:

Tags #money, #pet, #question, #animals

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Dilbert sits at the table reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Which would you prefer: winning a million bucks or getting hit in the lips with a dead mole while you sleep?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . The money." Dogbert says, "Well, that's too bad, because you didn't win a million bucks." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "That's the kind of hypothetical question that can keep you up all night."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #pasta, #antipasto, #hungry, #socrates, #plato, #question, #hard, #philosophy, #man, #tree, #rock

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors under a tree. Dogbert says, "If a man eats a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Would they cancel each other out, leaving the man still hungry?" Dilbert says, "I can't imagine Socrates and Plato debating that question." Dogbert asks, "Too hard, huh?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #broccoli, #vegetables, #radiation

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Dilbert says to Dogbert who is sitting in his chair, "Don't get too close to my lab today." Dogbert asks, "Why not?" Dilbert answers, "I'm using radiation to mutate new species of vegetables." Dogbert asks, "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert replies, "Funny, the broccoli asked me the same question."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1989's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Promotion, #criticism, #mule-stomped, #gopher, #bald guys

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A man at a desk says to Dilbert, "Well, Dilbert, you seem qualified for this promotion, but I have one concern. Since your work would be evaluated by many people . . ." The man asks, "Can you handle criticism?" Dilbert says, "Oh, easily. For example, your toupee looks like a mule-stomped gopher . . ." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Turns out it was a trick question." Dogbert says, "Boy, you can't trust those bald guys."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #question, #asking, #stupid

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I have a stupid question . . ." Dilbert says, "There are no stupid questions." Dogbert says, "That's ridiculous . . . If there are no stupid questions then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Dilbert asks, "Were you going to ask me something?" Dogbert replies, "See . . . Now there's a stupid question."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1989's comic on:

Tags #garbage man, #Dilbert, #garbage, #equations, #engineer, #calculations

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Dilbert opens his door and the garbage man stands on the doorstep. The garbage man holds up a crumpled piece of paper and says, "Pardon me, sir, but I couldn't help noticing these equations in your garbage." The garbage man continues, "I took the liberty of correcting a few quantum calculations." Dilbert asks, "Gosh, why are you a garbage man?" The garbage man replies, "I think the question is 'why are YOU an engineer?'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #portion, #dog, #license, #test, #natural, #enemies

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A man behind a counter at the Department of Dogs says to Dogbert, "I'm sorry, but it seems you've failed the written portion of the dog license test." Dogbert replies, "Impossible!" The clerk says, "For example, this question on 'natural enemies': the correct answer is 'mailman.' You wrote in 'fax machine.'" Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How'd it go?" Dogbert replies, "The 'Department of Dogs' does not keep up with emerging trends."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #auto service, #question, #change oil, #new oil, #second, #option

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Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #embassy, #nutty, #radical, #cars, #laws, #automatic, #direction, #politicians, #trust, #question, #insulted

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Dogbert sits across from a man in a strange robe and hat. The man asks, "Why have you come to the embassy of the nutty radical country of Pingo-Pongo?" Dogbert replies, "I want a job as a diplomat." The man asks, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "I'm trying to get in on the 'diplomatic immunity' scam." Dogbert throws his head back and cries, "I want to drive cars over people's lawns . . . I want to fire automatic weapons in any direction!!!" Dogbert laughs wickedly and shouts, "I want to throw Jello at politicians!" The man asks, "How do we know we could trust you?" Dogbert replies, "Sir! I am insulted by your question!"