Technical Advice Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

314 Results for Technical Advice

View 1 - 10 results for technical advice comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #office workers, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm really nervous about this presentation for the Big Boss. Got any tips for me?" Dogbert replies, "Remember to bring a bunch of coins to jangle self-consciously in your pockets." Dogbert continues, ". . . Avoid eye contact and don't pause to explain your acronyms." Dilbert says, "I wish I could tell when you're kidding."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Women, #party, #act, #naturally, #scrutiny

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror adjusting his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dogbert says, "The best way to impress women at the party is to just act naturally." Dilbert walks though a party thinking, "Act naturally, act naturally." Back at home, Dilbert says, "Logically, it is impossible to 'act' naturally." Dogbert says, "Most great advice doesn't hold under scrutiny."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #listening, #conclusion, #consciousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #exercise, #perfect, #health, #professionally, #cigarettes, #tobacco, #tobacco company

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table in his boxer shorts. The doctor says, "Apparently you ignored my advice and got no exercise." The doctor continues, "But you're in perfect health, which really annoys me professionally." The doctor continues, "I'm prescribing two packs of cigarettes per day . . . Don't cross me again." Dilbert looks at the reader.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #monogamy, #field, #shuttle, #Dogbert, #rides, #uno, #love, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm just a one-woman kind of guy." Dilbert continues, "Some guys like to play the field. Not me. I'm happy with just one woman." Dilbert continues, "Just one. Uno. That's best for me." Dogbert says, "You can take her for rides in the Space Shuttle you'll never have either."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dawn, #bob, #dinosaurs, #cult, #trucks, #questioning

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs asks, "Uh . . . Dilbert, could we get your advice?" Bob says, "We just joined Dogbert's new cult." Dawn says, "And he ordered us to kill each other for questioning him." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Maybe you could just shove each other in front of trucks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sonic, #obliterator, #buffalo, #buffaloes, #application, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nanosecond

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk holding a device that looks like a gun. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This could be my most important technical achievement yet. I'll call it the 'Sonic Obliterator.' Hmm . . . Catchy." Dilbert explains, "This baby can blast a buffalo into random particles in about half a nanosecond." Dilbert continues, "Of course, it might have limited application around the house." Dogbert says, "At least the buffalos will show us some respect."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #scientist, #anti-defamation, #league, #negative, #stereotypes, #concentration, #media, #portrayed, #technical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert says, "I joined the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League.'" Dogbert asks, "What's that?" Dilbert replies, "They fight against the negative stereotypes of technical people that are often portrayed in the media." Dilbert's tie is wrapped around his body, arms and head. Dilbert says, "You broke my concentration."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #drum beating, #robert, #warrior, #book, #rejecting, #port, #cinammon, #snap

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm joining a manly drum beating group." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "Well, see, this poet Robert Bly wrote a book about being a manly warrior . . ." Dogbert continues, "I haven't actually read the book . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . But it has something to do with beating drums and rejecting your mother." Dogbert says, "Let me get this straight . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . You're taking advice from a POET on how to be manly?" Dilbert and three men stand around holding drums. A man asks Dilbert, "Have you tasted the cinnamon snap tea?" Dilbert thinks, "Maybe I should have read the book first."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #perspective, #cafeteria, #management, #track, #oridnary, #executives, #lunch, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from a man's desk. The man says, "Thanks for your time, Dilbert. It's always good to get the technical perspective." Dilbert says, "Hey, it's lunchtime. Would you like to join me in the cafeteria?" The man replies, "Ooh . . . No, I couldn't do that." The man explains, "I'm on the management track, so I can't be seen eating lunch with you." The man continues, "If I'm seen with an ordinary employee then people will think I'm ordinary." The man continues, "I'd like to eat with the senior executives, but of course they don't want to be seen with me." The man slides under his desk and says, "So I've perfected a method of slipping quietly away at lunch time." Dilbert turns to the reader and says, "The scary part is that someday that man will be my boss."