Technical Questions Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

335 Results for Technical Questions

View 1 - 10 results for technical questions comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #question, #asking, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I have a stupid question . . ." Dilbert says, "There are no stupid questions." Dogbert says, "That's ridiculous . . . If there are no stupid questions then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Dilbert asks, "Were you going to ask me something?" Dogbert replies, "See . . . Now there's a stupid question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #listening, #conclusion, #consciousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #answering machine, #greeting message, #demonstration, #Dogbert, #demonstrating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I bought a phone answering machine." Dogbert asks, "Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer on your own?" Dilbert says, "The hard part is thinking of a greeting message." Dilbert says into the answering machine, "Hi. This is Dilbert. I'm not here right now." Dilbert says, "Well, technically I am here 'now' . . ." Dilbert says, "But 'now' is a relative term, so use your best judgment in deciding whether I'm here." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . That was actually a creative little message." Dogbert says, "Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity and complex stupidity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #probing, #embarassing, #questions, #contemplating, #effects, #firecrackers, #investigative, #reporters, #wallace, #dog, #young man, #Kids, #interviews

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert follows a little boy, holds out a microphone and asks, "Excuse me, young man. May I ask you some probing and embarrassing questions?" Dogbert shakes the microphone in the boy's face and asks, "Is it true that you spend a great deal of time contemplating the effects of firecrackers on investigative reporters?!!" Smoke clouds rise from Dogbert's head and his fur is burned. Dogbert says, "I'll bet this hasn't happened to Mike Wallace even once."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #dawn, #dogberts, #security, #neutralize, #motives, #accident, #dinosaurs, #cult

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Bob and Dawn join Dogbert's cult." Dogbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "You two are in charge of security." Dogbert continues, "Your job is to neutralize anybody who questions my motives." Dawn says, "Actually, we have some questions of our own . . ." Dawn asks, "Or should we just neutralize ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "Make it look like an accident."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sonic, #obliterator, #buffalo, #buffaloes, #application, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nanosecond

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk holding a device that looks like a gun. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This could be my most important technical achievement yet. I'll call it the 'Sonic Obliterator.' Hmm . . . Catchy." Dilbert explains, "This baby can blast a buffalo into random particles in about half a nanosecond." Dilbert continues, "Of course, it might have limited application around the house." Dogbert says, "At least the buffalos will show us some respect."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finance troll, #bad time, #report, #accounting, #Dilbert, #witch, #figures

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #witch, #accounting department, #Dilbert, #chains, #man, #woman, #gender, #sex & gender, #figures, #Number

View Transcript

Transcript

A witch sitting on a throne points at Dilbert and yells, "Fool! Why have you come to the accounting department?!!" Dilbert is wrapped in chains and guarded by a troll holding a spear. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I had some questions, sir . . . Ma'am . . . Er, sir?" Dilbert asks, "Are you a man or woman?" The witch replies, "In accounting, it doesn't really matter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bradley, #Dilbert, #valid, #analyst, #witch, #finances, #accounting, #budget report

View Transcript

Transcript

Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #rambling, #questions, #focus, #johnson, #fetch, #stick, #achieve, #sacrificing, #customer, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.