Ted Talks Comic Strips
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469 Results for Ted Talks
View 1 - 10 results for ted talks comic strips. Discover the best "Ted Talks" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 02,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #listening, #conclusion, #consciousness
Transcript
Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday June 02,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #vital, #performance, #stupider, #project, #high visibility, #country, #salute, #janitors' strike
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your new project will be VITAL to the performance of this company!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "The more he talks it up the stupider the project must be." The Boss says, ". . . High visibility, a chance to excel and be noticed!" The Boss continues, "In fact, I stand to salute you for the job you will be doing! You're what makes this country great!!" Dilbert asks, "Does this have anything to do with the janitors' strike?"
Sunday July 08,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #bluffing, #control, #don't, #wing, #my, #husband, #dead, #parties, #jury, #trials, #steamroller, #porsche
Transcript
The caption says, "What if people had tails? First of all, it would look darned silly." A tail protrudes from Dilbert's pants. The caption says, "Only the truly unobservant would lose at poker." Dilbert sits at a table playing poker with a man. Dilbert thinks, "He's bluffing." The man's tail wags. He thinks, "Control . . . Don't wag . . ." The caption says, "Jury trials would be simpler." A woman sits in the witness stand and says, ". . . Then I found my husband dead." The judge and a lawyer stare at her wagging tail. The caption says, "And parties would be even more awkward." Dilbert talks to a man with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling. The man says, "That's when I learned that if you drive a Porsche, you should never make fun of a man on a steamroller." Dilbert's tail wags as he replies, "Tragic . . . Really."
Thursday November 08,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #system, #data, #bits, #virtual, #array, #conflugalize, #words, #woman, #female, #employees
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people from marketing. A woman says, "Maybe Dilbert can explain to the marketing people how the system works." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . So the electrons alter the data bits . . . And then they go to the virtual array where they conflugalize. Got it?" The woman asks, "How many of those words did you just make up?" Dilbert thinks, "They're on to me."
Thursday October 31,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time
Transcript
Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."
Thursday December 05,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #layoffs, #aaah, #nervous
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand with Nervous Ted. Wally says, "I hear that big layoffs are coming, Nervous Ted." Ted screams and spills his coffee. Dilbert says, "Let me try one." Wally says, "Okay, but give him a minute." Ted looks frazzled.
Saturday June 13,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #weather, #report, #cnn, #weatherman, #tummy, #jane, #ted, #messages
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A weather reporter concludes, ". . . And that's the CNN weather report." Ted Turner appears wearing a tank top. He says, "Hey! Don't just sit there watching tv all day! Give me thirty tummy crunches!" Dogbert begins doing stomach crunches. Dogbert thinks, "It's been nothing but mixed messages since Ted married Jane."
Friday June 19,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #answer, #work, #body, #language, #discourage, #working, #ted
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Maybe Ted can answer that question . . ." Ted thinks, "Uh-oh." Ted thinks, "They're trying to make me work. I'll have to use body language to discourage them." Ted puts a pencil up his nose and rubs his head. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Never mind." Ted thinks, "It's working."
Saturday July 04,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #baby, #office, #new, #sneeze, #achooo, #prune
Transcript
A woman hands Dilbert a baby and says, "Everybody in the office gets a turn holding my new baby." Ted says, "Next." Dilbert holds the baby and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes. Dilbert looks at the baby and says, "Ooh! Look what he does when you sneeze on him." Ted says, "He looks like a prune!" The mother looks shocked.
Friday August 07,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #happy face, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #ratbert, #booked, #new york, #saint theresa
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert stand outdoors. Dogbert shows Ratbert a can of peanut butter and says, "It's a miracle, Ratbert. The image of Saint Ted appeared in my jar of peanut butter!" Ratbert asks, "Saint Ted? Who ever heard of Saint Ted? Couldn't you get Saint Theresa?" Dogbert replies, "She was booked to a can of varnish in Upstate New York." Ratbert says, "Saint Ted looks like a 'happy face.'"