Toaster Oven Comic Strips
16 Results for Toaster Oven
View 1 - 10 results for toaster oven comic strips. Discover the best "Toaster Oven" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 19, 1989's comic on:
Share August 08, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Please read these brochures, it could save your life." Dilbert looks at a brochure and asks, "'Electronics Anonymous?'" Dogbert says, "Let's take the enclosed quiz. Number one: How many options do you have on your toaster?" Dilbert asks, "Does that include the toaster disk drive and printer?" Dogbert says, "I think we can skip directly to the emergency application form."
Share September 03, 1989's comic on:
The caption says, "To the ancients it was known as the 'Time of Degauss.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The caption says, "Every thousand years, the animal magnetism of domesticated creatures reverses." Dogbert's ears fly up. The caption says, "The result can be catastrophic . . ." Silverware flies out of a drawer and the toaster flies off the shelf. The caption says, ". . . Or dogastrophic." Dogbert runs away from the flying metal objects that are attracted by his magnetism. Dogbert runs through Dilbert's legs. The caption says, "Soon the field stabilizes, and the threat is forgotten." The silverware pins Dilbert to the wall. Dogbert says, "That reminds me - what's for supper tonight?"
Share March 11, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk. Dilbert says, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I'm demanding a new wage and benefits package." Dilbert says, "I already give you everything you want . . ." Dilbert continues, "And in return you give me disloyalty, verbal abuse and occasional legal problems." Dogbert says, "Okay, it's a good job, but I'm putting in twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "I think I deserve some sort of special recognition for my good work." An "Employee of the Month" poster with Dogbert's picture hangs on the refrigerator. Dogbert says, "I'm positively giddy." Dilbert says, "You edged out the toaster by two votes."
Share October 21, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a park bench with a woman holding a baby. Dogbert asks, "Why are you hugging that loaf of French bread?" The woman replies, "Hee hee! Yeah, newborn babies do look like loaves of bread." Dogbert says, "But in this case I think your baby IS a loaf of French bread." The woman looks closely at the blanket and says, "That would explain the smell of dough." The woman takes the bread out of the blanket. She says, "Must have been a mix-up at the grocery store." The woman says, "I hope this doesn't mean somebody is sticking little Jimmy in a toaster somewhere." Dogbert replies, "I'm sure he'll pop up." The baby pops out of a shopping bag. The woman says, "Ah, there you are in the grocery bag." The woman says, "I think I bonded with the bread." Dogbert says, "Remind me not to eat hoagies at your house."
Share May 05, 1991's comic on:
The caption says, "First date." Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant looking at menus. Dilbert asks the waiter, "How much is the half chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-six dollars." Dilbert looks at the menu and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't afford this place." Dilbert asks, "How much is one-eighth of a chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-two dollars." Dilbert asks, "What can I get for thirty bucks?" The waiter replies, "We could slap you with an oven mitten." The woman says, "I can't believe what a cheap-skate you are." The woman continues, "My mother was right: all men are insensitive!" Dilbert hands the menu to the waiter and says, "Two oven mittens." The waiter says to the woman, "So, it looks like you'll be free later . . ."
Share December 06, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
Share April 11, 1992's comic on:
A woman says to Dilbert, "So, you're temporarily assigned to marketing and Brent went to engineering?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . ." In engineering, Brent points to a computer and asks, "What kind of microwave oven is this?" Wally replies, "That's a fifty MIP Sparc workstation, Brent." Brent places a croissant on the monitor and thinks, "In other words, it's going to take FOREVER to warm my croissant."
Share December 06, 1992's comic on:
The panel contains the title, "Dogbert's Home Safety Tips." Dogbert says, "It could save your life!" The caption says, "Tip #1: Children can swallow anything smaller than a sofa. Attach boards to vulnerable appliances." Dogbert attaches a piece of wood to a toaster while a baby watches. The infant tries to swallow the toaster and the board sticks out of his mouth. Dogbert says, "Ha ha! Nice try, Billy!" The caption says, "Tip #2: Your household may have a member who can legally vote but probably shouldn't." Dogbert stands next to a man in a chair and says, "Try tricking them into missing the election." Dogbert tells the man, "We're a communist regime now. You don't have to vote." The man says, "Shoot!" The caption says, "Tip #3: Your television is trying to steal your life's savings." A man on tv says, "I personally pray over every check you send." Dogbert tosses the television out a window and says, "Your only hope is to push your television out a high window." The caption says, "If everybody does it, we just might get lucky." The tv falls toward the televangelist who is walking on the sidewalk below.
Share December 10, 1995's comic on:
A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."