Violent Shows Comic Strips

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153 Results for Violent Shows

View 1 - 10 results for violent shows comic strips. Discover the best "Violent Shows" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #girlfriend, #single, #animals, #relationships

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Dilbert sits at his desk with paper and a calculator. Dilbert says, "Ah hah! Just as I suspected." Dilbert shows Dogbert a piece of paper and says, "Here it is: mathematical proof that attractive single women exist only in white Volkswagen Rabbits and aerobics classes." Dogbert asks, "How do you explain Vanna White?" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I wonder if Isaac Newton had a dog." Dogbert adds, "Or a girlfriend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #compliment, #office workers, #reaction

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Alice brought her new baby to the office today." Dilbert asks, "What are you supposed to say when somebody shows you a baby?" Dogbert replies, "'Precious' usually works." Dilbert says, "Judging from the reaction, 'bug-ugly' wasn't what she was looking for."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1989's comic on:


Tags #confidence, #dog, #power, #surprise, #feelings, #bad dog, #animals

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Dilbert shows Dogbert a newspaper advertisement and says, "Imagine my surprise when I saw this ad for Doctor Dilbert's seminar on developing self-confidence. Okay, what's the scam?" Dogbert explains, "I figured this would be a good way to find a bunch of meek people to do my bidding. If they refuse, I'll yell at them and hurt their little feelings." Dogbert continues, "Then I'll leverage that power into vast wealth or maybe world domination." Dilbert says, "No! Bad doggy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #design, #barbecues, #electricity

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Dilbert sits at his desk with drafting tools in front of him. Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This design could change the way the world barbecues. No more struggling with charcoal." Dilbert shows the paper to Dogbert and says, "This schematic shows how an electrically induced coil-like medium can heat food without charcoal or lighter fluid!" Dilbert continues, "I call it the Max-10 Energy Transfer Model." Dogbert asks, "Did the name 'Electric Stove' occur to you at any time?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #invention, #deodorant, #sarcasm, #bones, #sweat

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Dilbert shows Dogbert a device that looks like a handle. He says, "This is my newest invention: the deodorant spray booster pack!" Dilbert explains, "You connect it to any can of deodorant to boost the rate of output." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Why?! . . . Do you know how much time is wasted waiting for the spray to hit your armpit?" Dilbert activates the device and it blows him through the wall. Dilbert lies on his back in the backyard. He says, "As my best friend, I'm sure you can contain any sarcastic references to deodorant until my bones mend." Dogbert replies, "No sweat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #devil, #lettuce, #kitchen, #rationalization

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Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Looks like they under-charged me twelve cents on the lettuce." Dilbert thinks, "I should go back and give them the twelve cents. But I'm sure they would tell me to keep it for being so honest." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and the Ruler of Heck, shows up at the door and says to Dogbert, ". . . I have a report of a flimsy rationalization in progress." Dogbert says, "Try the kitchen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #violence, #beautiful, #Dilbert, #conquer, #butter knife

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've been thinking how wonderful it would be if all people renounced violence forever." Dilbert turns around and says, "That's a beautiful thought, Dogbert." Dogbert says as he walks away, "If nobody else was violent, I could conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #tv, #cable tv, #arm chair, #remote, #spit, #taste, #boring, #stupid, #theme

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. The voice on the tv says, "Tonight Siskel and Ebert review Dilbert's life." Ebert says, ". . . Boring and stupid . . . Look out, Gene; I'm gonna have to spit to get the taste out of my mouth . . ." Ebert continues, "Oops. Sorry, Gene." Dilbert points the remote control at the tv and changes the channel as he says, "I hate when they do these theme shows."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #bob's classy clothes, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #retail, #salesman, #shrink, #washer

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Dilbert walks into "Bob's Classy Clothes." Dilbert wears a pair of huge pants. He asks the salesperson, ". . . And you're quite certain these will shrink to fit?" The salesman replies, "You have my word as a retail salesman." Dilbert walks out of the store with a shopping bag. Dilbert shows Dogbert the pants. Dogbert says, "You were taken." Dilbert replies, "No, they shrink in the wash." Dilbert stands in front of the washing machine. Dogbert asks, "Will they fit now?" Dilbert replies, "Like a glove . . ." Dilbert holds the shrunken pants on his hand. He thinks, "Like a glove with two fingers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #wasting, #madonna, #sun tan, #lotion, #applicator, #barbie

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "While you were wasting your time at work I came up with a million dollar idea." Dogbert shows Dilbert a bottle with a doll on the top. Dogbert says, "It's the 'Madonna Sun Tan Lotion Applicator' for lonely guys!!" Dilbert says, "I'll take one." Dogbert says, "It looks like Barbie on a stick, but it's Madonna."