Vision Statement Comic Strips
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View 1 - 10 results for vision statement comic strips. Discover the best "Vision Statement" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Notice anything different, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Uh . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing THREE pens, not just two." Dogbert says, "That's a pretty bold fashion statement." Dilbert replies, "I guess I was out of control."
The caption says, "And while he had just created undoubtedly the finest memo known to man, still Dilbert felt curiously unfulfilled." Dilbert sits at his desk and reads the memorandum. Dilbert thinks, "Maybe it needs more 'CC's.'" The caption says, "Sadly, not everybody would share Dilbert's vision." Dogbert reads the memo and asks, "Do you really think staples can be straightened and reused?" Dilbert says, "I'm just saying we should study it."
Dilbert stands in a supermarket aisle looking at a box of tissue. Dilbert thinks, "Every single tissue box has a feminine design." Dilbert thinks, "Men have noses too. This is sexist. I can't support this practice." Back at home, Dilbert puts the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. Dogbert asks, "Sandpaper?" Dilbert replies, "I had to make a statement."
Dilbert walks into "Bill's Big 'N' Egg-Shaped Men's Fashions." A sign in the window says, "Specializing in the ovoid man." Dilbert says to the salesclerk, "I want to some clothes that make a statement." The clerk responds, "All our clothes make a statement." The salesperson hands Dilbert a sweater and says, "This sweater says 'Help me, help me, I look like a big egg!'" Dilbert asks, "Does it come in brown?"
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I took a crack at writing a 'mission statement' for our group." The Boss reads, "We enhance stockholder value through strategic business intiatives by empowered employees working in new team paradigms." Dilbert asks Wally, "Do you ever just marvel at the fact we get paid to do this?" The Boss asks, "Did anybody bring donuts?"
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm told by a reliable source that our senior vice president made a sound like 'yurp' at lunch." The Boss continues, "What does it mean? Does it signal a new set of priorities? We must demonstrate our commitment to this vision." Dilbert asks, "What was the context of this vision?" The Boss replies, "All we know is he was eating a burrito."
Dogbert says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Thank you all for volunteering for my task force on 'palmtop personal multimedia.'" Dogbert continues, "I'm sure that you all have a common vision about this project . . ." Dogbert continues, "Specifically, you think it will look good on your resumes while being too futuristic to generate any real work." Wally thinks, "Mother lode."
The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"
Dogbert: I'm writing a book of my guesses about future trends. If it gets published then my guesses will seem more valid than other peoples. I'll charge huge fees to share my 'vision" with audiences. Dilbert: Why would people pay huge fees for guesses? Dogbert: Trend number one is that people aren't getting any smarter.
Dogbert the futurist Dogebert: Society will become divided into technology "haves" and "have nots" Eventually the two groups will take different evolutionary paths. Then, as now, the "have nots" will be policy makers. Caveman: Oog mission statement