Warp Drive Comic Strips

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103 Results for Warp Drive

View 1 - 10 results for warp drive comic strips. Discover the best "Warp Drive" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #car, #dating, #eyes, #lucky, #relationships

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #brochures, #quiz, #toaster, #disk, #drive, #printer, #emergency, #electronics anonymous

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Please read these brochures, it could save your life." Dilbert looks at a brochure and asks, "'Electronics Anonymous?'" Dogbert says, "Let's take the enclosed quiz. Number one: How many options do you have on your toaster?" Dilbert asks, "Does that include the toaster disk drive and printer?" Dogbert says, "I think we can skip directly to the emergency application form."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #junk mail, #mail, #condo, #sales, #jeep cherokee, #emerald

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Dilbert reads a piece of mail and says, "Wow! And I thought this was just more junk mail!" Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "All I have to do is drive two hours and listen to their condo sales pitch. I'm GUARANTEED to win a Jeep Cherokee or a valuable mock emerald." Dogbert responds, "That emerald will go pretty well with your mock brain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #door, #wrecking, #house, #johnsons, #leveled, #noise

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings and Dilbert says, "Dogbert, see who's at the door." A man tells Dogbert, "Hi. I'm from the 'Big Ball Wrecking Company.' I have a work order to destroy this house." Dogbert reads the order and syas, "Looks like you have the wrong address. This is Walnut AVENUE. Walnut STREET is clear across town." The man says, "Oh phlegm! I don't have time to drive way over there." The man asks, "Would it be a bother if I just leveled this house instead?" Dogbert replies, "That would be a tad inconvenient. Try the Johnsons, next door." Dilbert asks, "What was that loud noise?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently the Johnsons aren't home."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #organization, #protection, #ugly, #people, #donation, #membership, #drive, #recognize, #arm chair

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Dilbert hears someone knocking on his door. Dilbert opens the door and a man says, "Hi. I'm from the 'Organization for the Protection of Ugly People.'" The man continues, "We are dedicated to eliminating the stereotype of ugly people as 'smart' and 'nice.'" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll make a donation." The man says, "Thanks, but this is a membership drive . . ." Dilbert sits on the hassock and says, "I'm never going to answer the door again." Dogbert asks, "He didn't recognize you as his god?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #hospital, #directions, #drive, #driving, #car, #automobile, #lying, #sarcasm

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Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #rock, #teenagers, #map, #x, #drive, #around, #rest, #year, #maps, #labeled

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I read that half of all teenagers can't locate this country on a map." Dilbert continues, "One frustrated teacher handed out maps labeled 'you are here.'" Dilbert continues, "She spent the rest of the year trying to explain why the 'X' doesn't move when you drive around."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinner, #car, #drive, #woman, #shallow, #difference, #parking lot, #thump, #mighty, #chest

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Dilbert asks a woman, ". . . So, would you like to meet after work and go to dinner?" The woman asks, "What kind of car do you drive?" Dilbert says angrily, "Ugh! You women are all so shallow!! It should not make one bit of difference what kind of car I drive!!" The woman replies, "Except that it will help me find you in the parking lot . . . But you could just stand on top of it and thump your mighty chest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bluffing, #control, #don't, #wing, #my, #husband, #dead, #parties, #jury, #trials, #steamroller, #porsche

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The caption says, "What if people had tails? First of all, it would look darned silly." A tail protrudes from Dilbert's pants. The caption says, "Only the truly unobservant would lose at poker." Dilbert sits at a table playing poker with a man. Dilbert thinks, "He's bluffing." The man's tail wags. He thinks, "Control . . . Don't wag . . ." The caption says, "Jury trials would be simpler." A woman sits in the witness stand and says, ". . . Then I found my husband dead." The judge and a lawyer stare at her wagging tail. The caption says, "And parties would be even more awkward." Dilbert talks to a man with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling. The man says, "That's when I learned that if you drive a Porsche, you should never make fun of a man on a steamroller." Dilbert's tail wags as he replies, "Tragic . . . Really."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dilbert's, #ego, #porsche, #woman, #Dilbert, #dating, #bar

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Dogbert: Nice toupee. Dilbert's Ego: Thanks. It's the, "Roy Orbison," model. I am now ready to hit the dating scene. Woman at Bar: Really? You drive a porsche? Dilbert's Ego: It's red... But enough about me.