Worshipping Stars Quo Comic Strips
12 Results for Worshipping Stars Quo
View 1 - 10 results for worshipping stars quo comic strips. Discover the best "Worshipping Stars Quo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 21, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a stone wall looking at the stars. Dogbert says, "No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there." Dilbert says, "Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth." Dogbert says, "Thank you for shattering my comfortable misconception." Dilbert says, "It's the miracle of science."
Share May 30, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands at the counter in a retail store. The salesclerk says, "This Sony Sniffman makes a nice gift." The clerk continues, "You can play the smells of your favorite stars!" The salesperson hands Dilbert the Sniffman and says, "Try it - it's Donny Osmond's gym bag." Dilbert asks, "Is it 'new Donny' or classic?"
Share April 12, 1992's comic on:
The panel is titled, "Dogbert's Guide to Movie Advertisements." Dogbert says, "Trust me." The advertisement says, "'Thumbs up.' -Gene Siskel." Dogbert says, "Meaning: Roger Ebert hates it." The advertisement says, "'Nominated for an Academy Award.'" Dogbert says, "Notice they don't say for what -- probably 'Best Gaffer.'" The advertisement says, "'Funniest movie of the year.'" Dogbert says, "He saw it in mid-January." The advertisement says, "Four stars . . . A masterpiece!'" Dogbert says, "The movie studio only paid off one critic. Must be a low-budget film." The advertisement says, "'Powerful performances.'" Dogbert says, "It's a downer. Somebody probably gets a disease and loses the farm." The advertisement says, "'I loved it!' -Floyd Belcher, Nosehair Magazine." Dogbert says, "Remember to consider the source." The advertisement says, "Stallone's funniest movie yet." Dogbert says, "I think you get the hang of it."
Share October 31, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert helps Dogbert onto a rock as he says, "It's amazing that people believe in astrology . . . As if the stars could affect your personality." Dogbert replies, "Well, seasonal differences in diet, sunlight and natural rhythms could affect expectant mothers, which could have predictable results on fetal brain development." Dogbert continues, "Maybe the ancients simply used the stars to measure the timing of these patterns." Dilbert asks, "If they were so smart, why didn't they invent watches?"
Share November 14, 1994's comic on:
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm assigning you to 'The Project That Wouldn't Die.'" The Boss continues, "Everybody likes this project too much to cancel it, but not enough to fund it properly." Dilbert puts his hands over his eyes and says, "Aaarg!!" The Boss continues, "Now go out there and maintain the status quo!" Dilbert says, "You really shouldn't mix honesty with your motivational speeches."
Share October 01, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert listens to an in-duh-vidual who says, "The Internet should be free. Why should I have to pay some greedy corporation or look at ads??!!" Dogbert says, "I will now use this cardboard tube to explain the intricacies of capitalism." The in-duh-vidual lies on the floor with stars floating around his head. Dogbert says, "Lesson One: This was something that should be free.
Share March 10, 1999's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a table with the boss. Dogbert wears a turban. Dogbert says, "You must use the stars as your management guide." The boss says, "Does that work?" The boss says, "If you believe it works, then you're not bright enough to make your own decisions anyway." Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert says, "So randomness is probably an improvement." The boss says, "Q.E.D."
Share September 05, 2003's comic on:
Asok: "Wally, how do I handle the psychological pressure of a stalled career?" Wally: "Remember that when you reach for the stars, they're too far away, so it's hopeless." Asok: "But sometimes you can reach a star.. can't you?" Wally: "That would burn your hand clean off."
Share January 25, 2005's comic on:
Share June 14, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert: Here's my bill for the consulting work I've done for you over the past year. The Boss: "What consulting? I haven't seen any reports." Dogbert: "I did it all in my head. I don't like to waste paper." The Boss: "What's your recommendation?" Dogbert: "Status Quo. You're doing everything right."