Wrong God Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for wrong god comic strips. Discover the best "Wrong God" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #waiting, #medical

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Grim Reaper enters and says, "Gilbert, your time has come." Dilbert says as beads of sweat fly off his forehead, "Gilbert?! My name is DILBERT! You have the wrong guy!" The Grim Reaper says, "Oops! Sorry. Mind if I just wait around until your number comes up?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #waiting, #medical

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Dilbert says to the Grim Reaper, "Look, Mr. Death, now that you know I'm the wrong guy, why don't you just leave me alone." The Grim Reaper replies, "I hate to waste a trip. Suppose your number comes up tomorrow - I gotta come all the way back. Just let me hang around today. You won't even notice me." Dilbert says, "THIS is gonna be a very long day." The Grim Reaper follows him and asks, "So, how do you feel?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #puns, #earrings, #mom, #birthday, #stones, #amethyst

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Dilbert opens a jewelry box and asks Dogbert, "Do you like these earrings I bought for Mom's birthday?" Dogbert asks, "What kind of stones are they?" Dilbert answers, "Amethyst." Dogbert says, "Didn't they have any that believe in God?" Dilbert says, "I don't get it." Dogbert walks away saying, "Puns! Never apologize, never explain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dream, #hillbillies, #lint, #lint farm, #stranger than fiction

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Dilbert joins Dogbert at the breakfast table. He says, "I had the weirdest dream last night . . ." Dogbert replies, "You probably think I want to hear all about it." Dilbert says, "I was kidnapped by hillbillies and forced to produce pocket lint on their illegal lint farm." Dilbert pictures himself hanging from the ceiling with tubes connected to his pockets. Dilbert continues, "They fed me only flannel and water, and mined my pockets twice a day." Dilbert is hooked up to a machine. Dilbert says, "Thank God it was only a dream . . ." Dogbert says, "Only a dream? Maybe you should check your pockets." Dilbert puts his hands in his pockets and screams, "Lint!!" Dogbert looks at the reader and says, "Stranger than fiction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #love is the air, #picture window, #love cheurb, #love with wrong persoon, #stupid cupid

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Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, "My instinct tells me that love is in the air." There's a loud crash behind them. Dilbert and Dogbert walk to the window where a little angel sits on the floor in a pile of broken glass. The angel says, "Whoa! Who put the picture window there?" Dogbert says, "You must be the legendary love-cherub, 'Cupid.'" Cupid replies, "Good guess . . ." The angel continues, "But the proper pronunciation is 'STupid,' not 'Cupid.'" Dilbert says, "No wonder I always fall in love with the wrong person." Cupid struggles with his bow and arrow. He says, "Now how does this gizmo work?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #door, #wrecking, #house, #johnsons, #leveled, #noise

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings and Dilbert says, "Dogbert, see who's at the door." A man tells Dogbert, "Hi. I'm from the 'Big Ball Wrecking Company.' I have a work order to destroy this house." Dogbert reads the order and syas, "Looks like you have the wrong address. This is Walnut AVENUE. Walnut STREET is clear across town." The man says, "Oh phlegm! I don't have time to drive way over there." The man asks, "Would it be a bother if I just leveled this house instead?" Dogbert replies, "That would be a tad inconvenient. Try the Johnsons, next door." Dilbert asks, "What was that loud noise?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently the Johnsons aren't home."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dates, #love, #dating, #Dogbert

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks as he reaches for the check, "All of us cosmopolitan guys use credit cards to pay for dinner." Dilbert looks at the receipt and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I never know which part of the paperwork to keep. I know something gets ripped up . . ." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . And by the time I noticed the tablecloth was tangled up with the carbon paper, I had ripped both of them to bits." Dogbert asks, "And that's wrong?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #earth, #creatures, #shot, #god, #speak

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "God spoke to me today. He appointed me ruler of all creatures on earth." Dilbert replies, "God did NOT speak to you." Dogbert says as he walks away, "It was worth a shot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #straight, #bad, #grammar, #intellectuals

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Let me get this straight . . . You say that BAD grammar can become GOOD grammar over time?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. If a bunch of intellectuals start using a word wrong, then it becomes proper in common usage." Dogbert says, "Grammar would be a lot less confusing if we had smarter intellectuals."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #organization, #protection, #ugly, #people, #donation, #membership, #drive, #recognize, #arm chair

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Dilbert hears someone knocking on his door. Dilbert opens the door and a man says, "Hi. I'm from the 'Organization for the Protection of Ugly People.'" The man continues, "We are dedicated to eliminating the stereotype of ugly people as 'smart' and 'nice.'" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll make a donation." The man says, "Thanks, but this is a membership drive . . ." Dilbert sits on the hassock and says, "I'm never going to answer the door again." Dogbert asks, "He didn't recognize you as his god?"