You're So Smart Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

156 Results for You're So Smart

View 1 - 10 results for you're so smart comic strips. Discover the best "You're So Smart" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #question, #asking, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I have a stupid question . . ." Dilbert says, "There are no stupid questions." Dogbert says, "That's ridiculous . . . If there are no stupid questions then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Dilbert asks, "Were you going to ask me something?" Dogbert replies, "See . . . Now there's a stupid question."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #organization, #protection, #ugly, #people, #donation, #membership, #drive, #recognize, #arm chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hears someone knocking on his door. Dilbert opens the door and a man says, "Hi. I'm from the 'Organization for the Protection of Ugly People.'" The man continues, "We are dedicated to eliminating the stereotype of ugly people as 'smart' and 'nice.'" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll make a donation." The man says, "Thanks, but this is a membership drive . . ." Dilbert sits on the hassock and says, "I'm never going to answer the door again." Dogbert asks, "He didn't recognize you as his god?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dying, #smart, #pap smear, #normal

View Transcript

Transcript

A doctor says to Dilbert, "It seems we had a mix-up with your test results." Dilbert asks, "Then I'm not dying?" The doctor replies, "We doctors are amazingly smart, but occasionally we make a little error." Dilbert says, "Well . . . I understand." The physician looks at a chart and says, "By the way, your pap smear was normal."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #reference, #smart, #attracted, #intelligent, #thoughts, #woman, #date

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I've got a blind date with the lady who works at the library reference desk." Dogbert asks, "What if she's ugly?" Dilbert replies, "Looks aren't important. She sounded very smart over the phone, and I'm attracted to intelligent women." Dogbert says, "Oh . . . right." Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Should I talk, or will you be reading my thoughts directly?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brainella, #smart, #intimidated, #dated, #woman, #outfit, #best

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #gravity, #illusion, #mental, #restrictions, #smart, #flung, #space, #wheel of fortune

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Sometimes I think gravity is only an illusion." Dogbert thinks, "Maybe other great thinkers realized gravity is mental and were thus freed of its restrictions." Dogbert thinks, "Which could explain why all the smart people have apparently been flung into space." Dilbert enters and says, "It's time for 'Wheel of Fortune.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #brochure, #water, #beautiful, #smart, #healthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Here's a brochure for my new miracle mineral water spa." Dilbert reads the pamphlet and says, "You claim that the water at our house will make people smart, beautiful and healthy." Dogbert says, "If anybody asks, tell then you don't drink water."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dollars, #inventing, #secret, #better, #classify, #send, #space, #stuff, #kill, #smoking, #drugs, #open-minded

View Transcript

Transcript

The strip is titled, "Dogbert's guide to your tax dollars." A vacuum cleaner sucks up dollar bills. Dogbert says, "Did you ever wonder how all that tax money gets spent? Roll the tape." The caption says, "Inventing secret things." Two scientists look at a device. One of them says, "It doesn't look like much, but it'll smart like crazy if you sit on it." The caption says, "Sending secret things into space." The other scientist says, "Maybe we'd better classify it secret and send it into space with the other stuff." The caption says, "Education." A teacher says, "Sex will kill you, food will kill you, smoking will kill you, alcohol will kill you, drugs will kill you . . ." The children sitting at their school desks look frightened. The caption says, "Art grants for things you aren't open-minded enough to appreciate." Dilbert looks at a shoe sitting on a pedestal. The artist says, "I call it 'The Bug I Hated.'" The caption says, "Advanced health care." Two doctors stand next to a bed where a skeleton lies. One physician says, "You were right, Benson. X-rays and microwaves are not the same thing." The caption says, "Paying Congress." A senator says, "Our raises came through!" Another says, "I think I'll send myself a thank-you note!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #messages, #smart, #intelligent, #aliens, #stomping, #wheat, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "What do you think of those strange circles found in British wheat fields?" Dilbert replies, "Obviously, messages from highly intelligent aliens." Dogbert asks, "If they're so smart, why do they have to send messages by stomping on wheat?" Dilbert says, "Maybe they underestimated our intelligence." Dogbert says, "Or not."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #business, #consultant, #credibility, #person, #speak, #slower

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my business consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I have credibility because I don't work for your company. No smart person would work here full-time." The Boss says, "I work here full-time." Dogbert says, "Sorry. I'll try to speak slower."