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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #coworker, #the boss, #zimbu, #monkey, #zoo, #keepers, #special, #program, #insult, #intelligence, #workers

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The Boss points to a monkey and says, "Dilbert, your new co-worker is Zimbu the Monkey." The Boss says, "Zimbu learned English from the zoo keepers in a special program." Dilbert says, "This monkey is an insult to the intelligence of the other workers and I!" Zimbu corrects Dilbert, "Other workers and 'me,' not 'I.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #language, #Dilbert, #Wally, #zimbu, #zoo, #engineer, #cafeteria, #donuts, #skills, #staff, #meeting, #monkey

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Dilbert stands in front of Zimbu the Monkey's desk and says, "Look, Zimbu, you might have learned language skills at the zoo, but it takes more than that to be an engineer." Wally enters and says, "Dilbert, Zimbu, let's hit the cafeteria for morning donuts." Dilbert, Wally and Zimbu sit at a table eating donuts. Dilbert says, "Okay, after ten a.m. it takes more than language skills to be an engineer." Wally says, "Not today -- we have a staff meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #behavior, #language, #Dilbert, #zimbu, #charade, #skills, #rote, #logic, #reasoning, #program, #writting, #basic, #work

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Zimbu the Monkey sits at his desk working on the computer. Dilbert says, "It's time to end this charade, Zimbu!" Dilbert continues, "Your language skills are simple rote behavior. Monkeys are incapable of logic and reasoning." Dilbert looks at the computer screen and says, "Ha! And that program you're writing -- it's probably in 'Basic.'" Zimbu asks, "Do you ever work?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #zimbu the monkey

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Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey sit across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've got to cut staff in engineering. I'm trying to determine which one of you is more valuable to keep." The Boss says, "I've been hearing good things about Zimbu the Monkey. Which one of you is Zimbu the Monkey?" Dilbert and Zimbu both raise their hands. Dilbert thinks, "This is not the proudest moment of my professional career."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu the monkey, #lay off

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "It's going to be tough deciding which of you to lay off." The Boss continues, "I want to keep the employee who projects the most professional image." Dilbert puts his hand behind Zimbu's head and makes a 'V' with his fingers. Dilbert thinks, "This should make him look pretty stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #lay off

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "I can't decide which one of you to lay off, so I've decided to have a contest." The Boss says, "The first event is the 'staple chase.'" Dilbert has been stapled to a bulletin board. The Boss says, "Round one: Zimbu." Dilbert says, "I think I winged him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu, #creativity, #test, #humor, #barrel, #monkey, #advantage, #guillibility

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Dilbert and Zimbu compete for one job. The Boss: This next event tests your humor and creativity. The objective is to see how much fun you can have in the barrel. Who wants to go first? Dilbert: This is no fair. Zimbu is a monkey. He has an advantage.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #engineering, #banana, #flea, #hotel, #zimbu, #management, #track, #victory

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The Boss: After comparing the two of you, I've decided to keep Dilbert for the last engineering job. Dilbert: Yes! I win, you little banana-eating-flea-hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #commercial prodcuts, #secret, #evoultion, #zimbu the monkey

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Wally: Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! we'd better find out his secret. wally: He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage! Wally: I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat. Dilbert: good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #commercially viable, #hard drive, #installed software, #tail, #zimbu, #monkey, #animals

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The Boss: Well, well, It looks like Zumbu has designed another commercially viable product using only his tail. Dilbert: I could have done that....If I hadn't erased my hard drive when I installed my security software. I don't produce much, but its very secure. Monkey: Heres another one.