Agree Comic Strips

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69 Results for Agree

View 1 - 10 results for agree comic strips. Discover the best "Agree" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #exercise & fitness, #frustration, #lunch, #office workers, #time, #walking, #coworkers

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Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.

Best Places To Work

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Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #employment, #irony, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office

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Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

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Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #award, #irony, #honesty, #truth

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Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.

Arguing With Idiots

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Arguing With Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #secret, #tip, #arguing, #psychology

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Asok: Wally, how do you stay happy while the rest of us are stressed out? Wally: It's easy. Instead of arguing with idiots, I pretend I agree with them so they'll leave me alone. Asok: That sounds risky. Wally: Yes, I agree.

Neural Link To Phone

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Neural Link To Phone  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #mind control, #phone, #technology, #invention, #cognition, #thought

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Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #failure, #power, #interns, #roadblock

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Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #closeness, #favor, #benefit, #debate, #relationships

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Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

Alice Gives Approval

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Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deal, #support, #negotiations

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.

Rat With An Ear On His Back

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Rat With An Ear On His Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."

Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust

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Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #condescention, #condescending, #agreement, #mocking, #insult, #insulting

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Boss: Stop agreeing with me in ways that sound like you don't mean it. Dilbert: Experts say one should first agree with idiots to gain trust before trying to change their minds. Boss: You need to stop doing that. Dilbert: You are so right about that.