Boss Three Months Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for boss three months comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Three Months" comics from Dilbert.com.

Homeless Employees

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Homeless Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #concern, #cost, #employees, #homeless persons, #office workers, #pretend

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Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.

Asok Lives In The Office

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Asok Lives In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations

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Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.

More People Working At Home

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More People Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #office, #office workers

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Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?

Finding A Scapegoat

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Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change

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the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

Unforseen Risks

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Unforseen Risks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #blame, #boss, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #risks

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Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.

Boss Surgery

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Boss Surgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #brain, #employees, #insults, #surgery

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Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.

Ai That Creates Comics

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Ai That Creates Comics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Comic Strip, #inventions, #sarcasm, #technology, #creativity

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Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.

Below Average

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Below Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #engineering, #jobs, #math, #sarcasm, #review

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Boss: Your job performance is below average. Dilbert: How did you calculate an average for a job that no one else has ever performed? Boss: Math?

Boss Needs Copies

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Boss Needs Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #frustrated, #irritation, #office, #office workers

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Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.

Layoff Package

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Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.