Search Results for "college grades"
Share August 08, 2015's comic on:
Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.
Share May 11, 2015's comic on:
Boss: I can offer you a starting salary of $34,000 per year. Man: My student loan debt is $200,000. I would have to live under a bridge and forage for food. Boss: Our bridges have good reputations. Man: I heard the same thing about my college.
Share August 16, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.
Share October 04, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Here's some news I don't understand about libor rates. Here's some news I don't understand about the Higgs boson. Remind me why we have news. Catbert: I think it has something to do with patent law and the electoral college.
Share June 22, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Do a cost analysis for consolidating our data centers. No matter what the data says, make sure your conclusion is that it's a good investment. Dilbert: Remind me why I went to college. Boss: Some liar probably convinced you it was a good investment.
Share May 19, 2012's comic on:
Applicant: I skipped my senior year of college to launch my first of three start-ups. I believe in lifelong learning. I have every technology certification relevant to my field. Boss: He's uneducated.
Share March 17, 2011's comic on:
Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."
Share March 16, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Dilbert, explain to Logan the technical issue in terms he can understand." Dilbert says, "Sure. What's his comprehension level? Are we talking human, squirrel or anvil?" The Boss says, "Which one am I?" Dilbert says, "Don't make this awkward." The Boss says, "Did the squirrel go to a community college?"
Share May 02, 2009's comic on:
To all staff: We had to let our cleaning crew go for budget reasons. In a separate e-mail, I will explain our new 'Adopt a toilet' program. Dilbert says, "I have to be honest, Timmy. I don't see college in your future."
Share December 12, 2006's comic on:
Flashback: Indian Institute of Technology. "Your telekinesis grades are very good, young Asok." "Always remember that you may not use your powers in front of the ungifted." Present Day "What the...? I just blinked and the last doughnut disappeared!"