Dont Think Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for dont think comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Think" comics from Dilbert.com.

Engineers Don't Lie

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Engineers Don't Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2019's comic on:


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Think Of You As Family

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Think Of You As Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #Food, #friends, #office, #office workers

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Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #office workers, #evidence

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Man: ...And that's what I think about the issue. Dilbert: Here's a Youtube video proving that everything you believe is wrong. Notice this isn't just an opinion. It is a video of the entire event you just claimed did not happen. I'm sending you a link to ten media stories debunking your version of events. Having now proved how wrong you are. Would you like to retract everything you said about it? Man: Why can't you admit when you are wrong? Dilbert: Because I'm not wrong!!!

Sean From Extreme Marketing

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Sean From Extreme Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #extreme, #marketing, #sean, #brainwashing, #technology, #unapprove, #first

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Boss: This is Sean from the extreme marketing department. He's here to tell us about our new brainwashing technology. Dilbert: I don't approve of brainwashing. Sean: That's why I'm going to do you first.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Humans And Parakeets

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Humans And Parakeets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #carol, #research, #humans, #parakeets, #offspring, #blog, #deny

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Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring. Carol: I don't believe that. Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog. Carol: I wouldn't call that "research". Boss: Deny science much?

Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise

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Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #boss, #conscience, #rethink, #quit, #raise, #going along, #don't, #ruin

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Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.

Best In The Industry

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Best In The Industry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #headphones, #best, #persuading, #humor, #confused, #jokes

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Dilbert: The headphones we make are the best in the industry. Man: Our marketing campaign will focus on how they cure brain tumors and raise your IQ. Dilbert: They don't do any of that. Man: This is exactly why we don't let engineers do marketing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #government, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #math, #ocean, #research, #sarcasm, #science, #temperature, #tests

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Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.