Mail Document Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for mail document comic strips. Discover the best "Mail Document" comics from Dilbert.com.

Strategy Document

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Strategy Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #strategy, #obliviousness, #insult

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Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.

Topper Signs Document

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Topper Signs Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #one-up, #best, #competition, #deception, #trick, #signature

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Topper. Dilbert: I once signed my entire first name to a document. Topper: That's nothing! Watch me sign my entire full name to that document! Dilbert: Sometimes you can be predictable. Topper: That's nothing! I don't even have free will!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #email, #communication, #response, #confusion, #honesty, #overshare

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Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.

Wally's Document Doesn't Open

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Wally's Document Doesn't Open - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #laziness, #technology, #document, #project update, #hard disk, #erase, #reinstall, #operating system, #work

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Boss: I couldn't open the document you sent with your project update. Wally: Try erasing your hard disk and reinstalling the operating system. Boss: I guess I don't need it that badly. Wally: After all the work I put into making that document?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #contracts, #lawyers, #porposal, #incomprehensible document, #complexity

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Boss: Your proposal with the three bullet points looks good to me. I'll ask my lawyers to turn it into an incomprehensible nine-page document that introduces complexity risks for... no... reason. Can I get back to you in the year 2018? Man: Stop making me cry!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #electronic mail, #successful habits, #eight things, #inspirational links, #emails, #change subject, #huge success

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Boss: Did you see my email about the eight things that successful people do? Dilbert: Yes. I did all eight things and now I'm a huge success. Boss: No you're not. Dilbert: I'm not? How's that possible? I did all of the things that successful people do. This only makes sense if the inspirational links you send me every day are a complete waste of time! So which one is it? Am I a huge success or do you email me worthless things? Boss: Maybe we should just change the subject. Dilbert: Is that what successful people do?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #electronic mail, #internet & world wide web, #scams, #enter bank acct, #employee, #boss

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WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #electronic mail, #mobile (cell) phones, #instant message, #emailed, #texted, #personal phone, #called, #inperson, #negate, #ignore, #push away, #no answer, #excuses

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Dilbert: You never answered my IM. Alice: You should have emailed me. Dilbert: I did. You didn't answer my email. Alice: If it was so important, you should have texted me. Dilbert: You didn't answer my texts. Alice; You have to text my personal phone. Dilbert: You didn't answer those texts either. Alice: Had it been important, you would have called me. Dilbert: I did. You didn't answer your phone and you don't return calls. So here I am. Alice: It's premature to get your hopes up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #electronic mail, #obliviousness, #business plan, #email about plan, #rambling and disjointed, #no understanding of problem, #proposed solution, #havent sen email

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Boss: Did you see my email about your business plan? Dilbert: Was it a rambling and disjointed email that showed no understanding of the problem or the proposed solution? Boss: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then apparently I haven't seen it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

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Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.