Salvage Joy Comic Strips
27 Results for Salvage Joy
View 1 - 10 results for salvage joy comic strips. Discover the best "Salvage Joy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 08, 2015's comic on:
Carol: We've got a cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert: I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing. Carol: Ow! You sucked all of the joy out of my body! Dilbert: Maybe you can backfill it with cake.
Share October 23, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert says, "It feels good when you volunteer to help others." Dogbert says, "that's why I talked some poor Elbonians into mowing our lawn for free. I want them to feel the joy of giving." Elbonian says, "All I'm feeling is tired." Elbonian says, "Try doing it faster."
Share May 31, 2009's comic on:
Dilmom Dilmom says, "How's work, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "I'm doing the job of three people and my pay has been cut 20%" Dilbert says, "My investments are worthless and my odds of finding a suitable mate are nearing zero." Dilbert says, "My life has no meaning, no joy and no hope." Dilbert says, "Do you have any motherly advice?" Dilmom says, "Shake it off, you big wuss." Dilmom says, "And you can pass that wisdom to the grandchildren you won't be having." Dilbert says, "You're not good at this." Dilmom says, "Eat broccoli. Whatever."
Share April 14, 2009's comic on:
Asok says, "I'm recalibrating my hopes and dreams to be consistent with the state of the economy." Asok says, "My new goal is to not be smothered to death by an old mattress that falls off a salvage truck." Asok says, "And I am saving money by drinking nothing but mugs of stale air." Wally says, "You're scaring my coffee!"
Share February 16, 2008's comic on:
Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind. Dilbert: Is he the talented guy? Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.
Share February 09, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."
Share October 23, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: I can't do my work because the internet is too fascinating. "The physical world no longer hold my interest. I find job only on the internet." "Can I take a hit on your iphone before I go back to my cubicle?" Catbert: "No."
Share September 11, 2006's comic on:
You're in charge of installing the system that Lyin' John sold to our biggest customer. "Lyin' John neglected to include the network and server in his sale. This is a financial sinkhole." "You take the joy out of delegating."
Share August 28, 2005's comic on:
"My job could not be more meaningless." "I'm looking at my new Director of Post-Decision Support!" "After I make a decision, your job is to figure out why it was the right one." "Save those tears of joy for later. We've got work to do!" "SOB!" "I decided to outsource our nuclear contracts to North Elbonia." "And in return, they'll give us food, if they ever figure out how to grow any." "I expect some fallout from this decision." "Me too." "On the plus side, it won't be long before there's a government reward for killing him."
Share March 24, 2004's comic on:
Career Day "When you grow up you'll be put in a container called a cubicle." "The bleak oppressiveness will warp your spine and destroy your capacity to feel joy." "Luckily, you'll have a boss like me to motivate you with something called fear." "May I see a brochure?"