Useful Information Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

201 Results for Useful Information

View 1 - 10 results for useful information comic strips. Discover the best "Useful Information" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

New Year's Day

Thank you for voting.
New Year's Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?

Yelling At Tina

Thank you for voting.
Yelling At Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #tina, #information, #requested, #disappointment, #normal, #tone, #voice, #yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina says you yelled at her for not having the information you requested. Incorrect. I expressed my disappointment with a normal tone of voice. The Boss: Stop yelling at me!!! Dilbert: I no longer know what "yelling" means.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #suggestion, #listening, #conclusions, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe you could remove a few slides to make your deck shorter. Man: So you're saying I should give up on trying to be persuasive? Dilbert: No, I"m saying it would be more persuasive if it were shorter. Man: So you're saying that having zero slides would be the most persuasive of all? Dilbert: No. I'm saying you have more slides than you need. Man: So you're saying people don't need accurate information as long as they don't have lots of slides? Dilbert:I'm not saying anything like that! Boss: Did Dilbert have any suggestions? Man: Just crazy ones.

Press Release About Hack

Thank you for voting.
Press Release About Hack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #damage control, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.

Tracking Employee Theft

Thank you for voting.
Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.

Bad Data

Thank you for voting.
Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #data, #information, #accuracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What does the data tell us to do? Dilbert: We only have bad data on this. Boss: Does the bad data suggest we should do what we wanted to do anyway? Dilbert: Well, yes. Boss: That's called "good data."

How To Use Personality Profiles

Thank you for voting.
How To Use Personality Profiles  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #personality test, #personaity, #privacy, #memory, #forgetfulness, #absent mindedness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We all took the Dogbert Personality Test, bu tit's not clear how we're supposed to use the information. I mean, how does it help me to know you're a forgetful moron who can't keep a secret? Boss: Who showed you my private test results? Dilbert: You did.

Dogbert's Personality Profiles

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Personality Profiles   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #personality, #test, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I have the results of your Dogbert Personality Profiles. Based on your questionnaire answers, Alice is angry, Wally is lazy, and Dilbert is boring. Dilbert: How are we supposed to use this new information? Dogbert: Wake me up when he's done talking.

Wally Maintains The Network

Thank you for voting.
Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.