Win Bet Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

145 Results for Win Bet

View 1 - 10 results for win bet comic strips. Discover the best "Win Bet" comics from Dilbert.com.

Winners Never Quit

Thank you for voting.
Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

It Already Works

Thank you for voting.
It Already Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #phone, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.

Never Give Reasons

Thank you for voting.
Never Give Reasons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #debates, #internet, #Opinion, #social media, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Internet Debate Coach Dogbert: Never give reasons for your opinions. That only gives your opponent fodder for proving you're an idiot. Asok: Then how can I win a debate on social media? Dogbert: No one knows. It has never been done.

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Reincarnation Advice

Thank you for voting.
Reincarnation Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #motivation, #reincarnation, #death, #fussiness, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Life Advice. Dogbert: I've reviewed your file. Your best bet is to live an unhealthy lifestyle, die young, and hope reincarnation is real. Man: Is it real? Dogbert: All I know for sure is that dead people are less fuss than you.

Boss Loses Wife And Money

Thank you for voting.
Boss Loses Wife And Money  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #role model, #aspiration, #gambler, #gambling, #money, #Win, #Lose, #success, #quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?

Boss Hits Jackpot

Thank you for voting.
 Boss Hits Jackpot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #gambling, #Win, #loss, #money, #obliviousness, #jackpot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My side job as a professional gambler is going great. I won a $5,000 jackpot this weekend. Dilbert: How much did you lose? Boss: About $700,000 and my wife. Wally: Didn't you tell her about the $5,000?

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

Thank you for voting.
Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trolling, #troll, #social media, #argument, #logic, #reason, #arguing, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #haggle, #trick, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want you to lower your price, but I don't know how to negotiate. Man: It's easy. All you need to do is offer to pay more than the list price and wait for me to counteroffer. Dilbert: Okay... I'll pay twenty percent over the list price. Man: You win! Sign here.

Winning The Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Winning The Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #game, #cruelty, #insult, #criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Meetings used to be frustrating and boring until I gamified that situation. Now I try to win meetings by criticizing co-workers offering no ideas of my own, and leaving without any new task. Dilbert: You call that winning? Wally: Compared to my victims, yes.