Year Round Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

373 Results for Year Round

View 1 - 10 results for year round comic strips. Discover the best "Year Round" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ten Year Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Ten Year Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #finances, #guilt, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?

Tweaking Variables

Thank you for voting.
Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #business, #change, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!

New Year Resolution

Thank you for voting.
New Year Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #holidays, #new year, #sarcasm, #weight, #new year's resolutions

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.

Contractor Wants To Be Employee

Thank you for voting.
Contractor Wants To Be Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #negotiation, #contract work, #contractor, #pay.wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #award, #irony, #honesty, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.

Wally's Stealth Drone

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Stealth Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #deception, #deceit, #drone, #technology, #invention, #fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #argument, #anger, #frustration, #trolling, #needling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Getting The Wrong Answer

Thank you for voting.
Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #budget, #spending, #Advice, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.