Asok Comic Strips

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941 Results for Asok

View 1 - 10 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Not Returning Messages

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Boss Not Returning Messages  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #business, #boss, #fire, #message, #importance, #sarcasm, #employment, #face mask

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asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!

Becoming Golem

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Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #creature, #cynical, #doom, #experience, #face mask, #golem, #jaded, #lord of the rings, #office workers, #work, #coffee, #sarcasm

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asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

No More Id Badges

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No More Id Badges    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #employment, #i.d. badge, #employees, #freedom, #tattoo, #sarcasm, #face mask

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boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.

Asok Analysis

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 Asok Analysis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #numbers, #analysis, #experience, #liars, #department

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boss: put some numbers on this decision so it looks a if we thought about it longer. asok: are you seriously telling me to do the analysis after the decision? boss: if you need help, talk to one of the experienced liars in the department.

Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety

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Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #employees, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #team

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Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.

Smartphones Spread Viruses

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Smartphones Spread Viruses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #hygiene, #science, #contagion, #pandemic, #smartphone, #germs

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Boss: Scientists say our smartphones can spread the coronavirus. That's why I no longer answer the phone. You never know if the caller is infected. Asok: I don't think... Dilbert: Let it go.

Mumble Ventriloquists

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Mumble Ventriloquists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #anger, #boss, #meetings, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb

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Voice: That is a dumb idea, you pointy-haired fool. Boss: Who mumbled that? I can't tell with your face masks. Voice: Meetings just got a lot more fun. Boss: Who is saying that???

Asok Meditates

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Asok Meditates  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #psychology, #sarcasm, #business, #meditation, #think, #work, #co-worker, #technology, #enlightenment

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asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

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Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius

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boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

Asok Confidence

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Asok Confidence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #asok, #business, #co-workers, #confidence, #enough, #fake, #room, #test

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ask: you know what's wrong with this room? not enough of me in it. that's what. dilbert: are you testing your fake confidence? asok: is it working?