boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it.
asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee!
boss: it usually doesn't work this fast.
asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!
catbert to boss: you've tried rewarding good performance and punishing bad. but have you tried tricking employees into working hard?
boss: no, can you teach me?
catbert to asok: remember, hard work is its own reward.
asok: is it?
wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system.
dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that?
asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!
alice: sometimes, asok, i think everyone in the world is an idiot except for you and me.
asok: i can't tell if you are serious.
alice: i guess it's down to just me.
boss to tina: i'm planning to increase the budget for training by fifty percent next year.
tina to dilbert: he didn't say anything about the other budgets.
dilbert to wally: he didn't say anything about the budget for research and development.
wally to alice: sounds like he's phasing out research and development.
alice to asok: he wouldn't phase out research and development unless he knows the company is failing.
asok to carol: the company must be going bankrupt.
carol to boss: the company is bankrupt.
boss thinking: i guess i don't need to increase the training budget.
boss on phone.
boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air.
asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse.
boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.
dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call.
voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home.
boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking.
dilbert: that's probably for the best.
asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it?
wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own.
asok: don't you feel guilty?
wally: nah. they'd do the same to me.
asok: and do they?
wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.
asok: alice, i want you to know that i hear you and i value you.
alice: that's terrific maybe you could stop talking to me in that super creepy and condescending way.
asok: yes, queen.
alice: who broke you?
