Ratbert Comic Strips
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Character
327 Results for Ratbert
View 1 - 10 results for Ratbert comic strips. Discover the best "Ratbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 10,
2022
Doctor Ratbert
Thursday August 21,
2014
Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free food, #bus service, #massages, #smart, #ambitious people, #earplugs
Transcript
Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.
Friday January 10,
2014
Tags #chipmunks, #in hair, #less talking, #love, #more rubbing, #rodents, #oxytocin levels, #human contact, #family of chipmunks, #relationships
Transcript
Wally: It boosts my oxytocin levels without the need for human contact. Alice: You didn't invent that. I've had a family of chipmunks living my hair since the eighties. Chipmunk: There goes our privacy. Alice: Less talking, more rubbing!
Tuesday July 23,
2013
Tags #internet & world wide web, #money, #bertcoins, #digital currency, #anonymous genous, #mail, #attachment, #pirates
Transcript
Ratbert: I'm moning for bertcoins. It's a digital currency created by an anonymous genius. Hey, I'm getting an email from a Somali fellow who wants me to open an attachment. What happened to all of my bertcoins? Bob: Digital Somali pirates!
Thursday March 07,
2013
Tags #best policy, #lying, #powerless, #superpower, #truth, #honesty is best policy
Transcript
Dogbert: Honesty is the best policy... whenever you think lying won't work. Otherwise, lying is awesome. It's like a freakin' superpower! Ratbert: Why am I here? Dogbert: I speak truth to the powerless.
Tuesday August 28,
2012
Tags #talk like idiots, #slap lipstick, #deliverable, #actionable, #underpaid
Transcript
Ratbert: Let's talk like idiots. Bob: Ha ha! You go first! Ratbert: Slap lipstick on the pig, put a stake in the ground, and view it from 30,000 feet. Bob: That deliverable is actionable. Ratbert: Wait... why do I suddenly feel like hiring you? Bob: And why do I feel underpaid?
Thursday December 22,
2011
Tags #anminals, #greed and corruption, #money, #pay to protest, #peaceful protest, #permit, #protest movements, #rebellions, #to protest
Transcript
Ratbert: I'm staging a peaceful protest against your greed and corruption. Dogbert: Do you have a permit to protest here? Ratbert: No. How much do they cost? I'm winning this, right?
Monday December 05,
2011
Tags #rebellions, #riots, #violence, #rebel army, #social justice, #iron fisted dictator, #billionaire, #stain, #tank tread, #looting, #excited animals
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm forming a rebel army. Ratbert: Count me in! What are we fighting for? Dogbert: You'll be fighting for social justice and I'll be scheming to become an iron-fisted dictator. In the long run, I'll be a billionaire and you'll be a stain on a tank tread. Ratbert: Please, please say there will be looting.
Friday September 10,
2010
Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #shut down, #assistant, #ratbert, #human body parts, #recycling bins, #frankenstein
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need to shut down our crime scene cleaning division." The Boss says, "Apparently your assistant, Ratbert, has been putting human remains in the recycling bins." Dilbert says, "That's a harmless mistake. What's the worst thing that could happen?"
Thursday September 09,
2010
Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #assistant, #feet in air, #dead body, #mop, #duct tape
Transcript
Crime Scene Cleaning Dilbert says, "There's no budget for a mop or cleaning supplies." Dilbert says, "All I have is this pole and you." Ratbert says, "You could duct tape me to the pole." Dilbert says, "Yup. If we had duct tape."