Ratbert Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

326 Results for Ratbert

View 1 - 10 results for Ratbert comic strips. Discover the best "Ratbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2014's comic on:

Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free food, #bus service, #massages, #smart, #ambitious people, #earplugs

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2014's comic on:

Tags #chipmunks, #in hair, #less talking, #love, #more rubbing, #rodents, #oxytocin levels, #human contact, #family of chipmunks, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: It boosts my oxytocin levels without the need for human contact. Alice: You didn't invent that. I've had a family of chipmunks living my hair since the eighties. Chipmunk: There goes our privacy. Alice: Less talking, more rubbing!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2013's comic on:

Tags #internet & world wide web, #money, #bertcoins, #digital currency, #anonymous genous, #mail, #attachment, #pirates

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: I'm moning for bertcoins. It's a digital currency created by an anonymous genius. Hey, I'm getting an email from a Somali fellow who wants me to open an attachment. What happened to all of my bertcoins? Bob: Digital Somali pirates!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2013's comic on:

Tags #best policy, #lying, #powerless, #superpower, #truth, #honesty is best policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Honesty is the best policy... whenever you think lying won't work. Otherwise, lying is awesome. It's like a freakin' superpower! Ratbert: Why am I here? Dogbert: I speak truth to the powerless.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2012's comic on:

Tags #talk like idiots, #slap lipstick, #deliverable, #actionable, #underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: Let's talk like idiots. Bob: Ha ha! You go first! Ratbert: Slap lipstick on the pig, put a stake in the ground, and view it from 30,000 feet. Bob: That deliverable is actionable. Ratbert: Wait... why do I suddenly feel like hiring you? Bob: And why do I feel underpaid?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anminals, #greed and corruption, #money, #pay to protest, #peaceful protest, #permit, #protest movements, #rebellions, #to protest

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: I'm staging a peaceful protest against your greed and corruption. Dogbert: Do you have a permit to protest here? Ratbert: No. How much do they cost? I'm winning this, right?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #rebellions, #riots, #violence, #rebel army, #social justice, #iron fisted dictator, #billionaire, #stain, #tank tread, #looting, #excited animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm forming a rebel army. Ratbert: Count me in! What are we fighting for? Dogbert: You'll be fighting for social justice and I'll be scheming to become an iron-fisted dictator. In the long run, I'll be a billionaire and you'll be a stain on a tank tread. Ratbert: Please, please say there will be looting.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2010's comic on:

Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #shut down, #assistant, #ratbert, #human body parts, #recycling bins, #frankenstein

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We need to shut down our crime scene cleaning division." The Boss says, "Apparently your assistant, Ratbert, has been putting human remains in the recycling bins." Dilbert says, "That's a harmless mistake. What's the worst thing that could happen?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2010's comic on:

Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #assistant, #feet in air, #dead body, #mop, #duct tape

View Transcript

Transcript

Crime Scene Cleaning Dilbert says, "There's no budget for a mop or cleaning supplies." Dilbert says, "All I have is this pole and you." Ratbert says, "You could duct tape me to the pole." Dilbert says, "Yup. If we had duct tape."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2010's comic on:

Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #assistant, #excited, #squeegee, #brains

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Ratbert, would you like to be my assistant in the crime scene cleaning profession?" Ratbert says, "Me?!" Ratbert says, "You had me at 'brains and squeegees.'" Dilbert says, "I didn't say any of those words." Ratbert says, "Would it kill you to say them now?" Dilbert says, "If it does, you can clean me up."