boss: the best part of having a remote workforce is firing them by text.
boss typing on smartphone.
Boss: ted, you're fired. tap tap tap.
catbert: it's done?
boss: no, i also need to give a thumbs-up to his crying face emoji.
in meeting room.
dogbert: i invented a device that can detect losers.
boss: how do i know if it's accurate?
dogbert: point it at a know loser and see if it pings.
boss pointing it at employees:
boss: hey! it knows ted is a loser!
ha ha ha!!! it says dilbert and alice are losers too! and carol and wally too! ha ha ha!!! this thing is totally accurate!
dogbert: you're holding it backward.
boss: how exactly does it detect losers?
dogbert: they're the ones who hold it backward.
dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted.
boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person.
panel changes building.
voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.
boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job.
panel changes to office building.
dilbert: what if he isn't helpful?
boss: then i'll fire you for failing.
panel changes back in office:
dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach?
boss: no. it's worked for years.
boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted.
dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit.
boss to catbert: ted has management potential.
boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired.
ted: in what universe does that even make sense?
boss: you also complain too much.
