Across Dsiciplines Comic Strips

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176 Results for Across Dsiciplines

View 1 - 10 results for across dsiciplines comic strips. Discover the best "Across Dsiciplines" comics from Dilbert.com.

Focus Or Spread

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Focus Or Spread - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #focus, #project, #expense, #business, #employment, #low quality, #work, #magic, #attention, #technology, #sarcasm

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dilbert: do you prefer that i focus on one of my projects at the expense of all the others... or should i spread my attention across all of my projects and do low-quality work on all of them? and your answer cannot involve magic. boss: can i hear the choices again.

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Can't Remember Wally's Project

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Can't Remember Wally's Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #language, #jargon, #obliviousness, #bluff, #managers

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Boss: I can't remember what project you're working on. Wally: I'm integrating parallel platforms for load balancing across incremental networks. Boss: Keep doing that. I can never tell when I'm having a good day.

Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain

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Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questioning, #time, #quick question

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Barry: I see you're off your phone. Can I pop in and ask a quick question? Boss: Yes, but only if it is quick. Barry: Oh, it will be. Boss: Okay, make it quick. Barry: What is blockchain and how will it influence our strategy across all product lines?

Sounded Interesting From Across The Room

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Sounded Interesting From Across The Room - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #smartphone technology, #speed evolve, #meta organism, #sum of parts, #looked interetsing, #employees, #coffee break, #cups, #business

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Tina: What are you talking about? It sounds interesting. Dilbert: We were saying that our smartphone technology has caused us to speed-evolve into a meta-organism that is the sum of our connected parts. Tina: In my defense, from across the room it looked interesting.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer programmers, #international economic integration, #unemployed, #immortal, #preventer of information, #services, #outsiurced, #buzzkill

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I am immortal! Dilbert: Actually, in a few years your function will be either distributed across existing organizations or outsourced. Mordac: Well, that was a total buzzkill.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #masters forum, #share knowledge, #across dsiciplines, #insulted chairperson

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Woman says, "Would you like to be part of a masters forum to share knowledge across disciplines?" Dilbert says, "No. The only people who will be there are the ones who don't have anything better to do. I try to avoid people like that." Woman says, "I'm the chairperson." Dilbert says, "I'll get a lot done that day!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security consultant, #meeting, #angry, #shake, #ears up, #surprise, #fillings, #dentist, #id badge, #business

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Dogbert the Security Consultant Dogbert says, "Anyone without an I.D. badge is assumed to be an enemy combatant." Dogbert says, "Pounce on the intruder and shake him until his fillings fall out!" Alice says, "How much did we pay for that advice?" Dogbert says, "It's free. I work for the dentist across the street."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #employee, #walk, #coffee cup, #applicant, #phone, #ring, #wake up, #brag

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The Boss says, "Interview this applicant and tell me if he's right for our company." Wally says, "Tim, we don't set the bar as high as we used to."<BRWally says, "In our golden days, we insisted on employees who could work tirelessly through the night." Wally says, "As business slowed, we were happy with anyone who put in eight hours a day." Wally says, "then our best people left." Wally says, "Now on cubicles are mostly used for napping." Wally says, "So my question is this: Would a ringing phone wak you up?" Tim says, "Probably." Wally says, "He comes across as a braggart."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad news, #awkward, #funny face

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Man says, "A salesman borrowed the demo unit that you flew across the country to see." Man says, "Can I show you something totally irrelevant so this doesn't feel so awkward?" Dilbert says, "Give me a minute to get out of the splatter zone."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #question, #ridiculous, #serious, #confused, #annoyed, #vendor, #stupidity, #business

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The Boss says, "Is there any risk that the new software will erase our data?" Dilbert says, "Um?No." The boss says, "Did you ask the vendor that question?" Dilbert says, "Well, no, I?" The boss says, "Then you can't be sure, can you?" Dilbert says, "We outsource our payroll service. The payroll data isn't even on our servers." The boss says, "Isn't everything connected to everything else by the internet?" Dilbert says, "You want me to ask our vendor if his software will hunt down our payroll data from across the internet and try to kill it?" Dilbert says, "And you think he might say yes?" The boss says, "Better safe than sorry." Later that day Man says, "Yes, sometimes it does that. You're the first to ask." Dilbert thinks, "Shoot me."