Add Person Comic Strips

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358 Results for Add Person

View 1 - 10 results for add person comic strips. Discover the best "Add Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

Meeting In Person

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Too Busy To Train

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Too Busy To Train - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #two, #replacement, #quit, #death, #stare, #new, #person, #sarcasm

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dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.

Insults By Email

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Insults By Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #office workers, #insult, #email, #comfortable, #belittle, #Opinion, #move away, #sarcasm

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dilbert: i feel a deep need to belittle your opinion, but it would be awkward doing it in person. would you mind moving away from me so i can email you my insult? dilbert in hall by himself. dilbert: a little more....

Wally The Rebel

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Wally The Rebel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #problem, #authority, #lazy, #rebel, #like it, #business cards, #sarcasm

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boss: wally, you have a problem with authority. wally: wow! i thought i was lazy. but maybe i'm actually a rebel. yes, i like it. can i add it to my business cards? boss yelling: no!

Deep Fake Zoom

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Deep Fake Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #deep fake, #program, #generic, #employee, #work, #sarcasm, #cell phone, #laptop

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dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!

Gaming The System

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Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #wrong, #believe, #system, #project

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boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.

The Boss Has An Idea

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The Boss Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #managment, #worldwide, #obvious, #implement, #smart, #people, #remote, #work, #idea

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boss: looks like my idea of remote work is being implemented by management all over the world. dilbert: i don't think that was "our idea" so much as totally obvious to every thinking person. boss: well, maybe. but would they have implemented it? dilbert: i'm going to talk to smart people now.

Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person

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Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #business, #disabled, #token, #gay, #homosexual, #celebrate, #employment

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boss: ted, the company wants to celebrate you as the first disabled gay person to hold this job. ted: but... i'm neither gay nor disabled. boss: the celebration is next week, so you have plenty of time to fix that.

Recurring Charges

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Recurring Charges - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #cancel, #online, #charges, #information, #automated phone system, #contact, #website, #microphone

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dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.

Bribe One Judge

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Bribe One Judge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #consumer, #lawsuit, #assignment, #judge, #bribe, #lawyer, #insult

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dogbert to boss: you have over seven hundred consumer lawsuits filed against you. if i can get them all assigned to the same judge, you only have to bribe one person. boss: are you even a lawyer? dogbert: heavens, no, and i didn't come here to be insulted.