Against Company Policy Comic Strips

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1000 Results for Against Company Policy

View 1 - 10 results for against company policy comic strips. Discover the best "Against Company Policy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Non Disclosure Denied

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Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #sales personnel, #nondisclosure agreement, #product, #new, #waste, #refusal, #sign, #company, #vendor, #lawyer, #idiot

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salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.

Anonymous Sources

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Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources

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boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Anythey

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Anythey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #company, #policy, #pronouns, #anythey, #question, #offensive

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boss in meeting: the new company policy is to use "they" in place of offensive pronouns. does anythey have a comment or question? asok: "anythey"? boss: don't fight it.

Opposition Research

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Opposition Research - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #accomplishments, #year, #opposition, #research, #co-workers, #ranking, #employees, #idea

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wally: it might seem as though i accomplished very little this year. and that's true. but i also have a trove of opposition research on my co-workers. boss: what? wally: ranking employees against one another was your best idea ever.

Make Us Look Good

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Make Us Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #press release, #company, #support, #social, #issues, #complaining, #awesome, #research, #appearances

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ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

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Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #Politics, #stock market, #technology, #company, #controversial, #predict, #impact, #drop, #earnings, #stock, #sell, #involvement

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ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Marrying An Elbonian

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Marrying An Elbonian  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

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dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Bigoted Against Elbonian Men

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Bigoted Against Elbonian Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marriage, #office workers, #elbonia, #report, #bigot, #irrelevant, #innocence, #prove, #sale, #flower

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catbert: i'm getting reports that you are bigoted against elbonian men. dilbert: i'm not. catbert: that is irrelevant. there is only one way to prove your innocence. elbonian man: yes, i'll marry you. dilbert holding out flower: i thought it would be a tougher sale.