Agree Who's Fault Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for agree who's fault comic strips. Discover the best "Agree Who's Fault" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Negotiates With Elbonia

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Boss Negotiates With Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate

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Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?

Agreeing With The Boss

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Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

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Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Circular Debating

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Circular Debating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy

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Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!

Job Has No Meaning

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Job Has No Meaning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #employment, #job, #salary, #meaningful

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Dilbert: My job doesn't have meaning. Dogbert: If your employer added meaning to your job, would you agree to a cut in pay? Dilbert: No. Dogbert: I guess we just found the economic value of "meaning".

Finding A Scapegoat

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Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change

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the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #exercise & fitness, #frustration, #lunch, #office workers, #time, #walking, #coworkers

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Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.

Best Places To Work

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Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #employment, #irony, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office

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Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Boss Leads All The Way

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Boss Leads All The Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business, #encouragement, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #trick, #deadline

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Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness

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The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

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Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #award, #irony, #honesty, #truth

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Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.