All Changed Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for all changed comic strips. Discover the best "All Changed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Authority On Your Opinion

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Authority On Your Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #disagreements, #Opinion, #sarcasm, #change, #debate, #authority, #hallucinating, #lying, #stupid, #gaslight, #insult, #face mask

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co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.

Hate Edits

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Hate Edits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #office workers, #sarcasm, #edit

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Dilbert: I didn't like your analysis, so I made some hate-edits. Man: What's a hate-edit? Dilbert: You'll see. Man: You changed "in my opinion" to "according to the squirrels in my skull." Dilbert: There you go.

Disbanding Task Force

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Disbanding Task Force  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

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Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

Donating To Politicians

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Donating To Politicians - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #Politics, #government, #campaign, #bribe, #faith, #drones, #guns, #sarcasm

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dilbert, boss and alice at table boss: i donated to a few campaigns, and coincidentally a law changed that i wanted changed. now it's legal for us to sell drones that are armed with machine guns. dilbert: i've never had less faith in my government. boss: i also got us a tax break.

Smart To Wait

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Smart To Wait - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #technology, #proposal

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i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.

Changing The Website

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Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

New Military Project

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New Military Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #name, #weapon, #semantics, #language

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Boss: My staff is threatening to quit because of our military contracts. CEO: Tell them we only work on defensive weapons. Boss: It might help if we changed the project name from "City-killing Laser In Space." CEO: How about "Skylight?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #replacement, #hiring, #job description

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Boss: Wally, I need you to write up your job description for me. Wally: Is that because you're planning to hire someone to replace me? Boss: I need it by tomorrow. Wally: Job description: leverage platform technologies to maximize software architecture optimization via nanotubes. Here you go. Boss: Can you start on Monday? Man: I changed my mind.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #memory, #demagoguery, #social media, #Opinion, #technology

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Man: You said you hated this idea last week, but now you say you like it. How do you explain your flip-flopping? Dilbert: I always liked the idea. Nothing changed. Man: Hahaha! Nice try! You're back-pedaling because I busted you. Dilbert: Here is my email trail from the first moment the idea came up. As you can plainly see, I have liked the idea from the start. Any questions? Boss: Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?

Doing Nothing

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Doing Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #logic

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Boss: Wally, do you remember that thing I asked you to do last month? Wally: No. Boss: Well, that's okay because something changed and I don't need it anymore. Wally: You're welcome. You'd be surprised how often doing nothing is as good as doing something.