Already Wroking Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

323 Results for Already Wroking

View 1 - 10 results for already wroking comic strips. Discover the best "Already Wroking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #program, #artificial intelligence, #analyze, #digital, #communications, #kill, #take over, #control, #finances, #password, #a.i.

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.

Boss Isn't Fair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Zoom Team Building

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zoom Team Building - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #team, #building, #session, #zoom, #drink, #heavy, #home, #absurd, #gift, #purchase, #laptop, #video call

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: on friday we'll be having a team building session on zoom. you are welcome to drink heavily because you will already be home. dilbert: i don't know how that could be more absurd. boss: and buy a gift for yourself.

Shelves Are Ugly

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Shelves Are Ugly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #background, #attractive, #shelf, #lawn mower, #gym, #human, #decency, #rude, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: what's that behind you on the shelf? can't you make your background more attractive? dilbert: if we're being that way, who cuts your hair? your lawn mower? voice from laptop: did your gym go out of business? dilbert: i already miss our last shred of human decency.

Industry Trends

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Industry Trends - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #industry, #trend, #luck, #act, #fast, #change, #increase, #profits, #advantage, #future, #bogus, #training, #program, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.

Recurring Charges

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Recurring Charges - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #cancel, #online, #charges, #information, #automated phone system, #contact, #website, #microphone

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.

Wally Makes A Suggestion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

Assigning Dilbert To Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

5 G Format

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
5 G Format  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #recommendation, #5g, #format, #industry, #standard, #tricking

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and that's why i recommend creating a 5g format called orthogonal frequency division multiplexing. boss: that will never work. dilbert: it's already an industry standard. i was joking. boss: stop doing the to me. dilbert: i don't know if i can.

Zoom Happy Hour

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zoom Happy Hour  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #happy hour, #morale, #department, #alcohol, #drinking, #drunk

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on video conference with dilbert and alice. boss: we're going to start having zoom happy hour every weekday to boost morale. dilbert: you're the only one in the entire department who drinks alcohol. boss: you're all looshers. alice: did you already start drinking? boss: i love you!