Approve Funding Comic Strips

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87 Results for Approve Funding

View 1 - 10 results for approve funding comic strips. Discover the best "Approve Funding" comics from Dilbert.com.

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #bribe, #experts, #face mask, #faster, #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #plan, #technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Dilbert Characters

Purchasing Department

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Purchasing Department - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #purchasing, #vendor, #market, #quote, #coffee

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Purchasing Manager Bob: you need there vendor quotes, or i can't approve it. dilbert: there are only two vendors in that market. bob: come back when something changes.

Not Humanly Possible

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Not Humanly Possible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #budget, #workflow, #procedure, #impossible, #useful

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boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.

Slippery Slope

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Slippery Slope - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #slippery, #slope, #approval, #database, #cosmetic, #surgery, #insult

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dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #rules, #quotes, #chaos, #purchasing

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purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.

Website Suggestions

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Website Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #website, #webpage

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the boss: our website doesn't look anything like the one you asked me to approve. the boss: were you showing me a fake webpage so you could ignore my suggestions? dilbert: all of this could have been avoided if you had told me you planned to look at it.

Sean From Extreme Marketing

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Sean From Extreme Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extreme, #marketing, #sean, #brainwashing, #technology, #unapprove, #first

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Boss: This is Sean from the extreme marketing department. He's here to tell us about our new brainwashing technology. Dilbert: I don't approve of brainwashing. Sean: That's why I'm going to do you first.

New Forms

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New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency

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Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money

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Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #condescention, #disagreement, #criticism, #snark, #body language, #argument

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Dilbert: Are there any questions? Man: Your plan is so dumb that I am forced to make my condescending face to respond. You are so dumb! Dilbert: Did you have a reason? Man: Do I have a reason? Hahaha! That's precious. There are so many reasons that I don't know where to start! Dilbert: Just pick one. Man: Haha! Easy. You will never get funded. Dilbert: It's already fully funded. What else do you have? Man: To be honest, all I had was the funding issues and this face.