Art Department Comic Strips
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276 Results for Art Department
View 1 - 10 results for art department comic strips. Discover the best "Art Department" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 23,
2020
Ratio Is Too High
Tags #managers & supervisors, #expense, #budget, #capital, #ratio, #too high, #afford, #standards, #historical, #irrelevant, #manage, #department
Transcript
boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.
Wednesday August 05,
2020
Asok Analysis
Tags #business ethics, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #numbers, #analysis, #experience, #liars, #department
Transcript
boss: put some numbers on this decision so it looks a if we thought about it longer. asok: are you seriously telling me to do the analysis after the decision? boss: if you need help, talk to one of the experienced liars in the department.
Friday February 28,
2020
Purchasing Department
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #purchasing, #vendor, #market, #quote, #coffee
Transcript
Purchasing Manager Bob: you need there vendor quotes, or i can't approve it. dilbert: there are only two vendors in that market. bob: come back when something changes.
Wednesday December 25,
2019
User Complaints
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #support, #business, #staff, #overwhelmed, #bonus, #product, #launch, #department, #problem, #cause, #fair
Transcript
dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.
Thursday October 03,
2019
Parody Or Real
Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion
Transcript
dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now
Monday September 30,
2019
Casserole For Pot Luck
Tags #Food, #health & safety, #office, #office workers, #casserole, #potluck, #inspection, #home, #kitchen
Transcript
tina: i brought a casserole for the potluck. when are you coming? dilbert: when was the last time the health department did an inspection of your home kitchen? tina: never dilbert: that's when i'll be going to the potluck.
Wednesday July 24,
2019
Consultant Gets No Help
Tags #business, #business ethics, #lazy, #managers & supervisors, #selfish, #stupid
Transcript
the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.
Tuesday July 23,
2019
The New Consultant
Friday March 22,
2019
Sean From Extreme Marketing
Tags #extreme, #marketing, #sean, #brainwashing, #technology, #unapprove, #first
Transcript
Boss: This is Sean from the extreme marketing department. He's here to tell us about our new brainwashing technology. Dilbert: I don't approve of brainwashing. Sean: That's why I'm going to do you first.
Wednesday November 28,
2018
Sending Email At Night
Tags #email, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?