Ate Letter Comic Strips
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96 Results for Ate Letter
View 1 - 10 results for ate letter comic strips. Discover the best "Ate Letter" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 27,
2022
New 3 Letter Program
Tuesday August 31,
2021
Coworker Ate Yesterday
Friday August 31,
2018
Introducing The New Hire
Tags the boss, new hire, names, introduction
Transcript
The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?
Sunday January 03,
2016
Tags meeting, complaining, problems, salutation, sincerity, insincere, questioning, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thanks for meeting me on short notice. How are you? Coworker: Well, actually, someone stole my identity and ruined my credit score. I couldn't refinance my loan and lost my house. So I ate myself into poor health. I stopped shaving for a month and ended up on the terrorist watchlist. My boss hates me and is trying to make me quit by giving me bad assignments. My car broke down and I haven't been hugged in a year. Dilbert: Okay, let's get started. Coworker: That's all the time I had.
Saturday July 04,
2015
One Missile
Tags hiding, off the grid, surveillance, spying, drone, emergency, drone strike, hacker
Transcript
G-Man 1: One of our drones found the fugitive hacker Dilbert in a remote forest. He ate a poisonous berry and will be dead in minutes. Can I light him up for practice? G-Man 2: One missile. They're pricey.
Friday July 03,
2015
Dilbert Chooses Life
Tags off the grid, emergency, hiding, help, cell phone, service, connection, nature, allergy, reaction, decision, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My hiding strategy of going off the grid was working until I ate that berry. If I call for help, the government will find me. If I don't I will die. I choose life! Phone: No service.
Sunday November 16,
2014
Tags criticism, frankness, goals, honesty, managers, root cause, bad parenting, pointy headed boos, underlings, rapidly evolving nature, talented employee, boss life story
Transcript
Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.
Saturday June 14,
2014
Tags chocolate, obliviousness, dark chocolate, brain works better, magical thinking, fad chasing, eating, three pounds
Transcript
Boss: I ate three pounds of dark chocolate and it made my brain work better. Now I realize that everything I've done in my career up to this point has been magical thinking and fad-chasing. What should I do? Catbert: Stop eating chocolate.
Friday June 13,
2014
Tags chocolate, dark chocolate, think better, scientific sense, magical thinking
Transcript
Boss: Here's some dark chocolate. Studies show it makes you think better. Dilbert: Why are you suddenly doing things that make scientific sense, instead of your usual magical thinking? Boss: I just ate three pounds of dark chocolate. Dilbert: Wow. It works fast.
Monday March 31,
2014
Tags analogies, conversation, language, operational, puppet ate dictionary, operationalize strategy
Transcript
Boss: What can I do to help you operationalize our strategy? Dilbert: You could stop talking like a puppet that ate a dictionary. Boss: I don't know how analogies work. Dilbert: I'm counting on that.