Bags Of Crud Comic Strips

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40 Results for Bags Of Crud

View 1 - 10 results for bags of crud comic strips. Discover the best "Bags Of Crud" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Won't Kill

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Dilbert Won't Kill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #morals, #ethics, #self-driving cars, #murder

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Boss: Can you program our self-driving car prototype to drive Ted off a bridge so I don't have to fire him? Dilbert: Just because I have the power to kill a person and leave no evidence whatsoever doesn't meal I'll do it. Boss: He says he won't kill anyone. Alice: Crud! Asok: Shoot! Carol: Dang!

Wally's Air Bag

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Wally's Air Bag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #air bags, #laziness, #work ethic, #underpants, #accidental asignments, #system, #offcie, #work, #employees, #business

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Wally: I added air bags to my underpants to avoid accidental assignments. Boss: Hey, Wally, I need you to... BAM! Maybe I'll ask someone else. Wally: The system works!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #respect, #succeed, #treat each other well, #video recording, #google glasses, #recording confidential info, #fired, #insulting, #final check, #name calling, #ironic

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CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #inventions, #joking, #meat bags, #robot, #capability, #humor, #learn humor

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Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #baby, #falls, #game, #management fast track, #money, #money bags, #punch wessel, #rescuing plastic baby, #test, #weasel, #greed, #failed test

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Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #robot, #telepresence, #commute, #multitasking, #new technology, #rough patches, #meat bags

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Asok: Here comes Wally's telepresence robot. Robot: How was your commute, suckers?!!! Ha ha ha ha! I'm multitasking in ways that might surprise you! Dilbert: New technology always has rough patches. Robot: Open that door for me, meat bags!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #meat, #question and answer, #meat bags, #boss and emplyee, #realtionship, #office

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Dilbert says, "In this country, it is customary to respond to a question with somehting called an 'answer.'" Dilbert says, "Your approach is more like what I would expect to see if clothing were used as bags for meat." Dilbert says, "Now I will ask my question a seventh time..." The Boss says, "Stop saying what you're thinking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #stepping down, #ceo, #money stolen, #hellhole, #huge bag of cash, #helicopter, #writes book, #buy book

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Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #placebo, #head, #soul crushed, #Catbert, #slapped head, #juice, #berry juice

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Tina: I hear your soul was crushed and Catbert slapped off your dried-up head. Try this juice I've been selling on the side, it's made from actually berries. Spoit! Tina: Oh, crud. That was the placebo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2007's comic on:


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"Your blog has become an embarrassment to the company." "You have failed me. Now you must pay the price." "Oh, crud. I need you to call the facilities department for me...and come back tomorrow." snap