Bailout Loan Comic Strips
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13 Results for Bailout Loan
View 1 - 10 results for bailout loan comic strips. Discover the best "Bailout Loan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 17,
2020
Rot From The Inside
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #ethic, #abysmal, #loan, #project, #hate, #rot, #idea, #raise
Transcript
boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?
Tuesday December 12,
2017
Dogbert The Loan Shark
Tags #loan, #loan shark, #money, #racket, #interest
Transcript
Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.
Sunday January 03,
2016
Tags #meeting, #complaining, #problems, #salutation, #sincerity, #insincere, #questioning, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thanks for meeting me on short notice. How are you? Coworker: Well, actually, someone stole my identity and ruined my credit score. I couldn't refinance my loan and lost my house. So I ate myself into poor health. I stopped shaving for a month and ended up on the terrorist watchlist. My boss hates me and is trying to make me quit by giving me bad assignments. My car broke down and I haven't been hugged in a year. Dilbert: Okay, let's get started. Coworker: That's all the time I had.
Monday May 11,
2015
Living Under A Bridge
Tags #debt, #student loans, #loans, #salary, #universities & colleges, #money, #wages
Transcript
Boss: I can offer you a starting salary of $34,000 per year. Man: My student loan debt is $200,000. I would have to live under a bridge and forage for food. Boss: Our bridges have good reputations. Man: I heard the same thing about my college.
Saturday September 22,
2012
Tags #honesty, #joking, #paperback, #spend free time, #fan of clutter
Transcript
Coworker: It was a great book. I'll loan you the paperback. Dilbert: Thanks. I love it when other people decide how I'll spend my free time. Coworker: I can't tell when you're kidding. Dilbert: Paperbacks are awesome. I'm a big fan of clutter.
Thursday February 26,
2009
Tags #meeting, #bailout, #greed, #money, #economy, #business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm happy to announce that the government gave us a bailout loan of $25 billion." Dogbert says, "I'm even happier to announce that I kept the entire amount for my bonus." Dogbert says, "Who wants to see a picture of my island fortress?"
Wednesday February 25,
2009
Tags #Politics, #hearing, #argument, #economy
Transcript
Bailout hearings Man says, "Mr. Dogbert, did you fly here in a corporate jet?" Dogbert says, "Yes, the same jet that took you on a fact-finding trip to Aruba, you wool-coated glob of fat." Dogbert says, "Bring it on! I can do this all day." Man says, "I yield my time to the hypocrite from another state."
Saturday November 08,
2008
Tags #government buy out, #bloated carcass, #blot out sun, #cookies, #lemonade
Transcript
The CEO says, "Our plan is to beg for a government bailout." The CEO says, "It's good for everyone because otherwise our bloated carcass will blot out the sun." The CEO says, "We have cookies and lemonade in the back."
Friday June 13,
2008
Tags #interest free loan, #paperwork, #snortling, #leverage is limited, #no snortling
Transcript
The Boss says, "I've decided that your tiny company will give us an interest-free loan." The Boss says, "There's no paperwork to sign. We'll just pay your invoices late while snortling." The Boss says, "This is the part where you realize your negotiating leverage is limited." A man, "I demand no snortling!"
Friday March 07,
2003
Tags #loser magazine, #pen, #easy questions, #borrow pen, #chewer, #denied loan
Transcript
The reporter approaches Wally and says, "Wally, I'd like to interview you for 'Loser Magazine.'" Wally responds, "Okay." The reporter asks, "Do you have a pen?" Wally says, "Wow. These are easy questions." The reporter says, "I mean, may I borrow your pen?" Wally responds, "No, you look like a chewer."