Bear Attacked Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

22 Results for Bear Attacked

View 1 - 10 results for bear attacked comic strips. Discover the best "Bear Attacked" comics from Dilbert.com.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

Thank you for voting.
Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Elbonian Interference

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Interference - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #trolls, #protest, #counter-protest, #obliviousness, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Uh-oh. I think we are being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. They're organizing an employee protest against management and... a management counter-protest against employees. Luckily, no one here is stupid enough to... Boss: Down with employees!

Robot Attacks Boss

Thank you for voting.
Robot Attacks Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #machines, #computers, #fighting, #violence, #programming, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our robot viciously attacked me. I was barely able to fight him off. You know what you need to do. Dilbert: I'm programming you to fight better. Robot: Thanks. I'm not a good finisher.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #bears, #happiness, #compares, #raise, #working, #people attacked, #bear attacked, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Studies say your happiness depends on how well your life compares to others. So instead of giving you a raise, I'm going to show you pictures of people who were attacked by bears. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: Dang you to heck, this is working!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #salesman, #lying, #annoyed, #reading, #caught

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Your order will only cost about $20,000." Dilbert says, "No it won't." Dilbert says, "We both know you're intentionally underestimating the true cost to get the sale, you lying sack of spit." Man says, "You're not supposed to say that out loud." Dilbert says, "Is it okay if I imagine a bear attacking you?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #management potentail, #turtle, #attacked by hawk

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "I will use role play to evaluate your management potential. Catbert says, "Imagine you are a turtle and you are being attacked by a hawk." Catbert says, "That's better than I expected." A man says, "Thanks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #kodos, #morale, #mascot, #meetings, #moral improves, #bear suit, #meeting, #low morale, #idea for imprvement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #anti itch lotion, #might cause itching, #customer list, #bear, #mean dogbert, #evil thinking, #hates people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are walking outside. Dogbert says, "I plan to sell an anti-itch lotion that's really just honey." Dogbert continues, "I'll put a disclaimer on the bottle that says, 'Might cause itching.'" Dogbert continues, "And then I'll sell my customer list to bears." Dilbert responds, "That's not nice."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #meeting, #no limo servoce, #cheapest way, #brownies barrel service, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is still in a barrel. The Boss says to him, "I'm sending you to Elbonia for a meeting, but we're on a tight budget." The Boss, also in a barrel, continues, "So there will be no limo service to the airport. Go there in the cheapest way possible." A bear rolls Dilbert in his barrel down the highway. The bear says, "And then I started Brownie's Barrel Service." Dilbert thinks, "He's a talker."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #customer satisfaction, #shows improvement, #focus group, #attacked researchers, #two pencils, #premeditated

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "Our survey of customer satisfaction shows improvement." The Boss continues, "The focus group spontaneously attacked our researchers using number two pencils as shivs." Dilbert asks, "That's an improvement?" The Boss responds, "Last year the attack was premeditated."