Become An Expert Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

205 Results for Become An Expert

View 1 - 10 results for become an expert comic strips. Discover the best "Become An Expert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Becoming Golem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #creature, #cynical, #doom, #experience, #face mask, #golem, #jaded, #lord of the rings, #office workers, #work, #coffee, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

Sarcasm Works Better

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sarcasm Works Better  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #technology, #business, #production, #productivity, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert wearing face mask: i stopped using good arguments because sarcasm works better. dilbert wearing face mask: that doesn't sound like a productive thing to do. dogbert: oooh, look who's an expert on productivity now.

Wally The Generalist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally The Generalist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #generalist, #subject, #matter, #expert, #help

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: wally, can you help me on this? wally: no, i'm more of a generalist than a subject matter expert. tina: what kind of work do generalists do? wally: you just saw it.

Believing Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #Opinion, #expert, #facts, #current events, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.

Finding Qualified Engineers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interview, #questions, #job market, #engineers, #baker, #mortuary, #assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

Making World Better Place

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #money, #meeting, #employees, #taxes, #cancer, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

Just Like Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Just Like Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marketing, #project, #managers, #stupidity, #transfer, #extinguished, #divinity

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.

Pre Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #pre-meeting, #canceled, #sarcasm, #business, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychology, #reality, #parody, #broken, #business, #garbage, #Comic, #indistinguishable

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"

New Cubicles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Cubicles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.