Beer Can Comic Strips
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Boss: The company will no longer offer free beer on Fridays. It started as a team-building experience, but it degenerated into forklift jousting in the warehouse. Wally: I'm going all "Boardwalk Empire" on you now, Volstead! Boss: I hope that means something good.
"Welcome to Dogbert's accelerated sales training course." "Today you will learn how a person can simultaneously drink and golf." "What will we learn tomorrow?" "Tomorrow? What part of 'accelerated' is confusing you?" "As you know, the hard part about drinking and golfing is that they both require your hands." "That's why I invented the sportsman's beer muzzle." "Give this to your client and the sale will practically make itself." "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "This ish the besht day of my life!" "I'll put you down for ten pallets of mouse pads."
Topper vs. the Boss "It was the biggest fish ever caught in that lake!" "That's nothing." "I once caught a dinosaur by using nothing but dental floss and a pull tab from a beer can." "I'd like to see this alleged dinosaur." "Too late. I also make the world's best barbecue sauce."
Tina: Oh No. It's a technical glitch that I don't know how to fix. "GAA! NOw I must humble myself to some condescending engineer and ask for help!" Alice: "And how did I teach you to ask?" Tina: "I'm sorry that I spent my college years drinking beer and studying English literature."
The Boss and Dilbert are looking at the new product brochure. Dilbert says, "We might want to scale back some of the claims in our new brochure." The Boss asks, "Which ones?" Dilbert responds, "For example, where it says, 'provides diplomatic immunity against all current and future felonies.'" The Boss says, "That's just poetic license." Dilbert reads, "Turn used motor oil into root beer."
CYNICS ANONYMOUS Dilbert: My company sent me here to ref=gain my naive sense of trust. All in favor of using Dilberts company paid dues on beer say aye. Make sure you sign up for our gambling cruise.
Dilbert, dressed in a coat, is strolling with Dogbert. Dilbert says, "I'll never get drunk. I don't want to be out of control." Dogert asks, "Are you in control at work?" Dilbert answers, "Well.....no." Dogbert asks, "Are you in control when you're on a date?" Dilbert responds, "I can't get a date." Dogbert continues, "And whose idea was it to go on this walk?" Dilbert answers,"Yours." Dilbert lifts Dogbert up on a rock to sit. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that I should get drunk?" Dogbert answers, "No,no." Dogbert continues, "I'm saying the decision will be made by the beer companies." A seated Dilbert responds, "I hope they say that it's okay."
Phil says, "I used to be Phil The Ruler of Heck. My pitchspoon was feared by all who committed minor sins." Asok leans on Phil's desk. Phil says, "Then I made the mistake of merging with a company that makes non-alcoholic beer. I was ousted." Phil screams, "They said we'd have synergy!" Asok suggests, "Maybe it was just a bad pun."
Dilbert sits at his desk. A man asks, "Have I told you recently that I have a lucrative job offer from our competitor?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." The man continues, "The pay is obscene, they wear casual clothes at work, and Wednesday through Friday is free beer and pizza." The man continues, "As the new guy I get to date the masseuse until the company matches me with an attractive co-worker." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.
Dilbert sees a sign that says, "Free therapy." Dilbert asks a woman at a desk, "Why is it free?" The woman replies, "Our therapists are first year psychology students." Dilbert says, "What have I got to lose?" Dilbert lies on a couch and says, "Sometimes I have low self-esteem . . ." A student sits in a chair taking notes. The man says, "Your problem is that you're ugly. You should drink beer until you feel handsome." Dilbert says, "I thought you would say something about my mother." The man replies, "Good point. Your mother should drink beer too. She's probably as ugly as you." Dilbert walks by the reception desk and says, "You're over-priced." The woman replies, "Ooh, 'Mister Low Self-Esteem' is unhappy."