Being Insulted Comic Strips

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520 Results for Being Insulted

View 1 - 10 results for being insulted comic strips. Discover the best "Being Insulted" comics from Dilbert.com.

First Astronaut

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First Astronaut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astronaut, #business, #coffee, #division, #face mask, #honor, #question, #safety, #space, #technology, #test, #mars

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carol: our space division asked if you would accept the honor of being their first astronaut to mars. boss: i didn't know they had even tested it for safety yet. carol: he asked too many questions.

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Lifetime Of Being Wrong

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Lifetime Of Being Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #wrong, #decision, #career, #assess, #life, #sarcasm, #face mask

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dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Compared To Alice

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Compared To Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparision, #face mask, #good, #office workers, #punish, #sarcasm, #selfish, #tragic, #work

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alice: you did great work on this...which has the tragic effect of making my work look less good in comparison. dilbert: will you be punishing me for my good work? alice: yes, but think of it as you not being selfish.

Manage With Data

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Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

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boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

Boss Wins In Arbitration

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Boss Wins In Arbitration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused, #arbitration, #bribery, #business, #covid, #employment, #fired, #job, #pandemic, #racism, #rotten, #system, #white supremacist, #Win

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boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.

Who Started The Rumor

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Who Started The Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused, #business, #covid, #fired, #job, #managers & supervisors, #motive, #office workers, #pandemic, #racism, #replacement, #rumor, #unjust, #white supremacist

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boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.

Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist

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Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #racism, #fired, #employees, #white supremacist, #apathy, #career, #punch, #witness, #denial

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ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.

Getting Opinions

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Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #technology, #input, #dumb, #human, #universe, #Opinion, #strategy, #worse

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boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Dogbert Teaches Safety

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Dogbert Teaches Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #safety, #training, #simple, #corporate

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.

Sarcastic About Safety

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Sarcastic About Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #education, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #training

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Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.