Beter Ideas Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

140 Results for Beter Ideas

View 1 - 10 results for beter ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Beter Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.

Industry Trends

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Industry Trends - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #industry, #trend, #luck, #act, #fast, #change, #increase, #profits, #advantage, #future, #bogus, #training, #program, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.

Dilbert Characters

Every Expert Says

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idea, #technology, #work, #old, #new, #future, #expert, #entrepreneurs, #worldview

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

Rewriting Shakespeare

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rewriting Shakespeare - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #author, #play, #sarcasm, #writing, #shakespeare, #confidence, #rewriting, #plot, #dialogue, #drunk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My new hobby is rewriting shakespeare's plays so the sentences make sense. He had some good plot ideas, but I think he was drunk when he wrote the dialogue. Dilbert: i admire your confidence. Dogbert typing: "where are you, Romeo?"

How To Identify Good Ideas

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Punching Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Punching Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #improvement, #money, #morale, #punching, #violence, #kicking, #ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm looking for ideas to improve morale without spending money. alice: we could take turns punching you. boss yells: no punching! any other ideas? wally: did anyone suggest kicking?

Marketing Complains

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marketing Complains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.

Leaders Have Differen Memories

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #stupid, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

How To Reduce Turnover

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

Worthless Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worthless Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: i notice you didn't incorporate any of my suggestions in your final draft. ted: it's as if you are saying my ideas are worthless. dilbert: i would never say that. ted: so you're saying my ideas are good? dilbert: let's not reject ambiquity so quickly.

Wally Has An Idea For Carol

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has An Idea For Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #Wally, #bike, #compliment, #insults

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a great idea for you. Carol: Keep it to yourself. Your ideas are always insults masquerading as helpfulness. Wally: You seem cranky. Have you considered riding a bike to work? Carol: Die, monster!